This morning after forgetting my Blackberry in my apartment and dropping my sister off at the Path train, I'm sitting in traffic on Observer Highway when I decided at that moment that I needed to put on lip gloss. I reached around to get my new Fendi bag which was perched on the back seat when suddenly I was giving the car in front of me a little love tap.
Fuck. I had just rear-ended someone. Great. I mean I was going Zero but still...
I put my blinker on and moved to the right side of the road. Thankfully I had switched my insurance so that I was fully covered in New Jersey and they had already sent me my little handy dandy insurance card! I put my hazards on, got out and walked up to the guy sitting in the Honda Fit.
He was so cute.
"Hi. I'm really sorry..."
"Uh-huh."
He looked at me like I had LEGIT totaled his car.
"So..umm..I've never been in an accident before soooo I don't know what to doooo...."
"Well. Is there any damage?"
When I got out of my car I did see a small thin black scratch on his bumper but I wasn't going to tell him that.
"Well. Are you going to get out of your car and look?"
*big douchy sigh* "Yes."
We both went to the back of his car and he noticed the black scratch. The mark on his car looked like a black sneaker scuff that kids leave on gym floors. He ran his finger up and down the length of the scratch.
"I mean, there isn't any damage to my car...maybe this was there before...?"
"No. It. Wasn't. This is a brand new car."
"Ok..." I just stood there. He just stood there staring at his cell phone.
"I mean.....like....*douchy sigh*....Should I like call the police and file a report?" He looked at me like I was going to tell him what to do. Did he expect that I would be like, "Yes that sounds like a swell idea! I think you should definitely call the police and file a report about how I rammed into your car going 2."
Instead I just said, "I mean it's totally your call."
I watched Honda Fit guy as he assessed the damage. He ran his finger up and down the mark again and then took his foot and rubbed it up and down the bumper.
"I mean....if I get it fixed it's going to cost me money..."
???? Didn't this guy have insurance? Didn't this guy also know that when someone rear-ends you it's always their fault?
Well if he didn't know this I wasn't about to educate him.
"It's like...toooootally up to you what you want to do. I'm really sorry though."
"No I know. I mean..." Then Honda Fit guy looked over at my car and his glance lingered on my Mass plates. He probably thought I was some crazy Masshole bitch here on business.
"Yeah I mean..when you woke up this morning I bet you weren't expecting to get rear-ended by some chick from Boston huh!!!" *insert awkward and nervous laughter*
"Yeah....Ok well it's fine. Let's just forget about it."
I didn't linger. I didn't ask if he was sure. I just said, "Ok have a great weekend!"
Next time apply gloss before entering car. The next person I rear-end might not be so forgiving.
