Last week I was in China for work. I specify "for work" because people ask me if I went for business or pleasure. I have to wonder who would ever to go China for pleasure? China is right up there with Iraq and Uganada for places I'd never ever want to visit unless absolutely necessary.
So yes, I was in China for work. I started off in Shanghai, flew down to Southern China and ended my trip in Hong Kong. I don't know how to explain the three different parts of China so I'll break it down by how much I was stared at on a scale of 1-10:
Shanghai: 7.5
Southern China (Shenzhen, Dongguan): 25
Hong Kong: 0 (there are so many foreigners there that it looks like New York)
I asked my native Chinese colleague if I was being gawked at because of my blond hair and he said, "Yes. And also because you're clearly not from here." Score one for the blond highlights!
While I was in Southern China (which is very poor and filled with people who work in the factories. You're very aware of yourself when you're there. Also it was hot as hell. Shanghai was a balmy 55 degrees while Shenzhen was pushing 100.) I told my colleague that I wanted to try real authentic Southern Chinese food so we asked the concierge where to go and she suggested a place right across the street.
Because the drivers are so crazy and you're playing with your life if you don't cross at a crosswalk, my co-worker and I walked about 200 yards to the crosswalk so we wouldn't be mowed down by a 13 year old driving a wooden cart with a Ford motor attached to it. As we waited for the light to change I noticed a bowling alley. It was a building that had pictures of bowling balls and billiards on it as well as a fence surrounding it made out of bowling pins so I assumed it was a bowling alley.
"Rubin!" I exclaimed to my colleague, "There's a bowling alley!"
"Yeah."
"We're going there after we eat."
"Ok. I never bowled before."
"WHAT?!??!!" I shouted (if we weren't be stared at before you can bet we were now).
"Yeah. Never."
"Um. Ok we're going after dinner."
"Ok." Like he even had a choice.
After choking down tofu topped with 89 pounds of chillies and prawns on a stick we walked towards the bowling alley.
"How exciting. Aren't you excited to bowl? You know they make you wear funny shoes."
"Yeah."
As we neared the entrance Rubin started to mutter something in Chinese.
"Aaaaah Lisa. I don't think this is the type of place you want to go into."
"Huh?"
"Stay here."
Rubin walked up to a guy who looked like a security guard. Security? For bowling?
Then I shifted my gaze towards the front door and saw two rows of girls on either side of the entrance.
"Oh my....."
"Lisa we need to go. This not a bowling alley."
"Rubin. Is that a....are those prostitutes??!"
"Yeah."
"Wait. Like real prostitutes?"
"Yeah. Guy can walk in there and choose whatever girl he likes."
"OH MY GOD!"
"They don't have this in US?"
"Um no. It's illegal."
"The hotel we are staying at right now offers the same service."
"Wait. You mean I can call the front desk and tell them to send me up a man and they will?"
"Yeah. Did you see your bedside table?"
I assumed Rubin meant the rack of condoms.
I just guessed it meant the Chinese were pro-safe sex what with the One Kid rule and all. I didn't think it meant Pro-prostitutes!
"Oh god! Rubin what kind of place are we staying in?!"
"Out of all the hotels in Dongguan area this was the nicest and had best reviews!"
"So I guess we're not going bowling then?"
"Yeah."
