A few months ago, when there was still snow on the ground, I was on the 126 bus back to Hokoken when I looked up and noticed a veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeery cute guy sitting across from me. He caught my eye and looked quickly away. I fiddled awkwardly with my iPod; there's nothing more mortifying than getting caught staring at someone.
As I tried to get past level 10 on Angry Birds (damn pigs!) I flicked my eyes upward and noticed cute guy staring at me. When he saw me look up, he looked away. I regarded him for a few seconds: dark hair, dark eyes, prominent nose (which I don't mind) and even though he was sitting down he appeared to be on the tall side. All good things so far.
We continued to have eye sex all the way into Hoboken. When my stop approached I reached up to hit the stop button at the same time as my bus boyfriend. We caught eyes and kind of smiled at each other.I took my headphones out in preparation to talk to him.
As our bus lurched to a stop, we both stood up and he motioned for me to go first. I lifted my eyes up in what I hoped was a seductive manner and purred "thank you" as I glided by him down the bus stairs. I was about to turn around to say something witty when next thing I know I am flying through the air onto the sidewalk.
Thanks to my puffy coat, I landed on my stomach, bounced through the air and landed on my back. Kind of like this:
Obviously eye sex bus guy wasn't a gentleman. He didn't come to see if I was OK and there is no way that he missed the girl in front of him FLYING through the air like a goddamn circus performer.
I laid there for a solid 60 seconds thinking about how very cruel the universe was indeed, when I pregnant lady wobbled by looking at me with pity.
"Are you ok?"
"Ok. Just embarrassed right?"
"Just a little bit."