I'm a 33 year old single woman, ergo I meet guys and I go on dates. The varying degrees in which I meet these guys is all over the map; through friends, at a bar, online. One would think that living in NYC that the possibilities for meeting dudes are endless. They're not. I just want to clear that myth up right now.
Meeting a potential mate through friends is always dubious because, well, if it goes sour then you're all up in your friends shit like, "Dude! Why did you let me date that sociopath for so long?! You couldn't have warned me!!!" Giving a guy from the bar a shot (ha...get it...) is always touch and go because 1.) you met at a bar and he could be a raging alcoholic and 2.) you met at a bar....where you're drinking...and probably not making the best choices for that particular evening.
It's pretty customary these days to give online dating a go. I tried it when I first moved to NYC 5 years ago (after everyone telling me I'd meet someone and be engaged within the first year of living here) I joined Match.com and let me tell you something, not ONE guy talked to me. Yeah...I got zero emails, winks, flirts, shockers...NOTHING. I was 3 seconds away from hanging myself from my shower curtain rod when two of my girlfriends, also habitants of the concrete jungle, said they had the same experience. So at least I'm not alone.
Not to be detered I continue to give the online thing a try. I'm still attempting to meet dudes the old fashion way, you know like in person, but online dating fills in the gaps at work when time is dragging and instead of spending money online shopping for clothes, I spend my time date shopping.
So you go online, whether it's OKC, or Match, or FarmersOnly or Tinder and you check out the goods. You come across a guy who is 1.) Cute, 2.) Doesn't dress like he's homeless or in a frat, 3.) appears to be employed 4.) Comes across as normal and not like he has a hair collection from his various victims (this last point remains to be seen. You're just going with your gut).
You do the dance:
"Hi. How are you?"
"I'm good. Do you like chicken wings and sports?" (this question is coming from me btw)
"Ok. Do you like the beach?"
After the important things are out of the way you talk family, jobs, where you live, what you do for fun and then eventually, when you're ready to take it to the next level, you exhange numbers to text about your jobs,y our families, what you did for fun and tour commute home to where you live.
Everything seems to be going well as far as texting goes. He texted you, "Good Morning. Have a great day!" complete with cute coffee emoji. He texted you about the game and if you're going to watch it. You texted back saying "OBVI I'm going to watch it after I get out of the gym." Then you guys texted your entire walk home from the gym. Then you texted during the game and then he texted you a picture of his dick.
Aaaaaaah the inevitible dick pic. Why men think this is a good idea will be the question on everyone's lips when that fateful meteor hurtles towards earth ending civilization.
I mean, he seemed normal right? Was in banking or IT. Had a beard. Liked sports and extra spicy chicken wings. Could drive stick and liked Sperry's. Why'd he have to go and send a dick pic?!
Let's be real, it's not like they're pretty to look at. And it's not like you'd EVER reciprocate with a photo back (gross...just ew) so why do they think it's OK?
You could have every quality I am looking for in a guy: You are a sports fan, you are an orphan with no family, you can build shit, you're obsessed with me, but if you send me a dick pic I'm never going on a date with you. Ever. I'm not going to marry The Guy Who Sent Me A Dick Pic.