A few days ago I was pimping around the Prudential Mall with John Bain. He wanted to go to Club Maknockoff (Monaco) and I wasn't feeling it so I decided to head to Barnes & Nobel to purchase the third installment of the Twilight saga. What can I say, it's a quick read, mainly because it's written for young adults but whatever.
So I'm standing in the line that is so long it has basically twisted all the way back to DVDs when the woman behind me starts breathing heavily. On me. I glanced over my shoulder and snarled at her, hoping she'd get the hint and back the truck up. This only encouraged her.
"Oh heeeey. Whatcha got there?"
And she had a mid-western accent.
"Erm...abookit'scalledEclipsse," I muttered.
"Ooooh. Now what's thayt aboot?"
"It's about a girl who falls in love with a vampire."
"Ooooooooooooooh! There's a girl in my office who'd LOVE thayt. Is it like sci-fi?"
"I don't think so. No."
"Like one of those fantasy books? Like a Lord of the Rings type of thing?"
"I guess so. I mean, vampires don't really exist so..."
"Do ya like it?"
"Yeah, it's a quick read and (I gestured to the book in my hand) I'm buying the third book so yes. I like them."
The line had moved like one person. WTF was taking so long? it's not like it was Christmas Eve.
The woman behind me was quiet for a few minutes as I tapped away on my Berry. The second I threw the device back into my purse she started up again.
"You know what book I read last month?"
I stared at her, my eyes wide waiting for a response. She stared at me, eyes wide waiting for a response. Surely she didn't expect me to start guessing books that she maybe possibly could've read last month. I don't know this woman from a ham sandwhich so why on Earth would I have the faintest clue as to what books she likes to read. I glanced down at her hands and all she was holding were a few cards and a cat bookmark. *Drat!*
"Uuuuuhm...The one by Victoria Beckham?"
"Oh no! Haha. No it's this book called...um...oh geez! I don't even remember the name of it now!"
"I think it was something called Crystal Castle? Anyway it's about this girl who is terribly beaten by her father and she writes about all the abuse she's had to handle. It's such a sad book. Really gut wrenching. Then at the end you come to find out she's this news reporter for (insert some news station because I can't remember what she said)!! I mean really. You're reading this book about all the awful things and at the end you expect her to be in jail or a total dead beat and then you find out that she actually made something of herself and is this great person!"
She stared at me again waiting for a response.
"Wow. Sounds intense."
"Yeah. So you should go read it."
I smiled, "No need to now. You just told me how it ends."
"Oh. I guess I did, didn't I?"
"But really. Sounds like a great book."
I then excused myself saying I had to go to the bathroom. I did a loop around the store, paused by the magazines and got back in line at the very end safely away from Little Miss Chatterbox.