So I was pimping around my room a couple of days ago. It was Monday I think, one of those hot sticky brutal nights. Anyway, I was putting laundry away (because I'm ALWAYS putting laundry away. No one has more laundry than me. True story) and sweating my ass off. Which is interesting since I was in air conditioning. I decided to take a knee and have a Popsicle.
Again, still pimping around in my room. I unwrapped the cherry treat and went to take a lick, when suddenly I was stuck to the frozen fiend. Literally stuck. My upper lip felt like it was gorilla glued on. I sort of stood there for a little bit, kind of like "uuuh what do I do now." I could still swallow and breathe so I knew that the Popsicle would not get the better of me.
My sister was in the living room watching The Closer. I contemplated walking out there with the Popsicle stuck to my lip but I figured she'd call 911 and I really didn't want to have a hot fireman (in my dreams) prying it loose from my mouth. Honestly.
So I stood there. Sort of like Flick in A Christmas Story when he gets TRIPLE DOGGG DARED to stick his tongue to the pole:
(HA! Effing love that movie)
Anyway so by this time cherry Popsicle juice was dripping onto my chesticle area so I looked around and found some warm seltzer that I had been nursing. I took the can and tipped it onto my face. Finally, with seltzer water streaming down my face and cheeks, the treat had been tamed. The epidermis of my lip was still attached to it, but it's the price you pay for trying to cool down on a swarmy night.
Watch out for those Popsicles. They're scrappy.
**SIDEBAR!**
I'd like to wish a very happy birthday to my mom, The Donna! X number of years ago today she was born(don't worry mom. I'm still telling everyone you're 40). Which is lucky for all of you guys because now you have ME!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! LOVE YOU!! xoxoxoxo
