So in case no one was up to speed, we moved offices and are no longer living in the Drydock. I know, it is sort of sad....soooooort of. The Spoil moved to the South End; where boys like boys and the trendiest of restaurants are only a stones throw away from the Pine Street Inn.
But seriously, I am sort of in love with our new office and it's location. So in love, in fact that I signed a two year contract at the Boston Sports Club across the street. Yay!! At my old gym I was paying pretty much a million dollars a month; basically I was grabbing my ankles and not even getting dinner first. So I quit there at the beginning of the summer with all intentions of working out in my neighborhood. Living a second from Castle Island I figured I could walk around while enjoying the scenery (i.e..the planes taking off from Logan). I did that a couple of times but then just got plain old "too busy".
But now I have no excuses. It's right across the street and basically everyone at the office signed up so peer pressure aside and not wanting to be the most non-ripped person in the office, I hoofed it over today at lunch with JSlutt, Mak and Jack to get this medicine ball rolling.
We strolled in, the four of us with our big sunglasses, designer purses and freshly glossed lips.
"Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. We want, to like, SIGN UP!!"
The girl at the front, decked out in some fresh "ink" looked at us like a purple rhinoceros had just done a triple toe loop in front of her and then called over someone to help us.
Mark walked over and greeted us skeptically.
"Hi...?"
"Hi," I said all no nonsense, "We want to sign up and apparently you're the person who can help us."
"Ok. Follow me."
Jack and JSlutt were already members and just needed to transfer their memberships so they tooled around the grounds while Mak and I were taken in by Mark, the man with a plan.
Mark wasted no time before he pretty much bad mouthed every person who worked there. "Yeah and the general manager is from BEST BUY. I mean, nice buy but totally goes by the book....And that guy's a huge tattletale....And I'm just really glad to have cute girls here working out because there are so many gay dudes here. Cute girls are goooood."
Mak and I just kind of giggled demurely/awkwardly.
Mark started to run down the prices when I shouted out, "Oh I know someone who goes here."
"Ok. Great. So that means that you are eligible for the Friends & Family rate.
**psha** Sweet.
"What's his name?"
"Brett."
"And what is Brett's last name?"
Now I do know Brett. Sort of. He's the friend of my best friend LK and I'm sure he and I had done a few Jell-o shots together back in the day. I had actually just seen Brett for a second on Saturday. We chatted about how I was going to join the BSC and he said, "cool, tell them you know me." And I'm almost sure that he told me his last name, but for the life of me, sitting in that cotton/poly blend chair staring at Mark's eager face, I couldn't remember Brett's last name. So I said:
"Michaels. His name is Brett Michael's..."
Why did that name sound SO familiar?
"You mean like the guy from Rock of Love?"
Fuck.
"Who?"
"You know...Rock of Love..." Mark proceeded to launch into the E! True Hollywood story of this person.
"Oh...hehe...what a coincidence!!!"
Thankfully he signed Mak up first. I asked to Mark, "Sooooo when you sign us up do you have to put the member's name?"
Mark looked at me all serious like, "Oh yes. The computer won't let you proceed unless you put the name in. And I actually have to call the member and follow up."
Aaaah shit.
So while he hob-knobed with Mak, I texted LK and asked what Brett's last name was.
*bling* Campbell.
Well that definitely was NOT Michael's. And I couldn't really be like "Oh..heheeheheh...Mark...funny story actually....Um...my friend who I'm supposedly really good friends with...this is actually his real last name. Don't know HOW I could get that wrong...."
I'd look totally schizo.
I was in a pickle and saw no way out of this jam, so like any good crazy person, I made up some weird story about how Brett signed up under a different last name and oops...it's actually Campbell. (Brett if you're reading this....sorry.)
Mark really didn't even flinch. I think he just wanted the sale and pretty girls to look at while he held up the front desk.
And Lord knows I wanted that discount. Shameful, I know.