I've been commuting from the 'burbs now for about a week. It's been OK so far. No real crazy traffic jams to speak of, except today when a Lexus was just parked in the middle lane of the Northern Expressway with its hazards on. Like honestly. If you break down why can't you just mosey on over to the break-down lane?
Anyway, like I said the commute has been pretty low-key, except for yesterday. I was tooling down the SE Expressway when all of a sudden traffic stopped. "It's 3pm. Why the EFF is there traffic??" I said aloud. I dialed 511 to get a traffic update and Lt. Governor Tim Murray was no help ("ALL CLEAR ON BOTH SIDES OF THE EXPRESSWAY FOLKS!!!") so I continued to inch along. Thank God Suzi has heated seats!
Around exit 11 I noticed smoke in the air. Now I know it's bad to say this but whenever there's traffic at a random time of day I think to myself, "There better be a body." Whatever! If I'm going to sit in traffic for two hours it better be because something interesting happened and not because some jackass forgot to fill his gas tank!
As I inched closer to the swirling black clouds of smoke I got a quick glimpse of flames. A car on fire and no fire trucks in sight! This must've just happened...
Finally I was parallel with the accident. The crazy flames were lapping all around the edges and roof of the now crispy car. I fumbled inside my purse for my work camera phone to take a picture but then I realized that it was in a bag in my back seat. (GAH!) I stared a little bit longer until I realized that traffic hadn't moved for a few minutes. This is when I started to have a slight panic attack. I was maybe twenty yards away from a car engulfed in flames. What if the gas tank started leaking and the car exploded? What if flaming debris landed on Suzi? I was just about to ask my self "What Would Jack Bauer Do??" when traffic picked up and I was on my way to the Braintree split and home.
Until the Santa Claus on a motorcycle delayed my commute even further.
I had just gotten on I-95 South when I noticed the flashing lights behind me.
Merrrrr. I maneuvered Suzi from the fast lane to the middle lane to allow for the Statie to pimp by. And pimp by he did, along with a Santa and an elf sharing a motorcycle, three trucks filled with Christmas trees, a few other dudes dressed in leather on motorcycles and about six other State Troopers.
First of all, if you're Santa, wouldn't you want to be in like a Lincoln Navigator with presidential tinted windows? That way you don't get hounded by little kids demanding Wiis and iPhones for Christmas. I wouldn't think Santa would be blowing by on his Harley for everyone to see. And second of all are SIX Staties really necessary? Is this where my suburban tax dollars are now headed? To Santa's police escorts?
Thanks to Santa's pomp and circumstating down 95 S, I'm asking for a couple of extra gas cards in my stocking this Christmas.