Your Girlfriend is Ugly

So ya think you can dance....???

Well it's down to the wire on So You Think You Can Dance (here-to-fore to be referred to as SYTYCD). The final four, Lacey, Danny, Neil and Sabra, are all poised to take the title. I'm not entirely sure what that title is but, for those in the dance world I'm sure it's a big deal. Oh and there's cash involved....250G's to be exact.

Me, I just like to watch them dance and want Wade Robson to do nasty sexual things to me.

*Ahem*

My thoughts are as follows. And yes, I dedicate blogs to trite, flash in the pan television shows because I love TV and SYTYCD is way better than Idol and the host is a hell of a lot more tolerable than Seacrest. But I digress. My thoughts:

• I hate the fact that Lacey made it this far. Come oooooooooooon! She's the little sister of Benji, the dude who won it last season. I mean DUH! Everyone who voted for him is going to vote for her. Definitely a shrewd move by FOX indeedy to put her on there. Boost viewer ship and what not, but she's just so G-damn cocky I want to throw up when I see her heinous mug. When asked what made her join the show she replied, "Well I auditioned when I saw my brother Benji win it last year!" Tee-hee. Barf.
• Niel. Gay? Straight? It has absolutely nothing to do with his dancing. I'm just curious. He's pretty amazing though. He has come the farthest out of any of them. So if he wins I'd be OK with it. But he's not going to.
• Um. For those of you who already watched Part 1 of the finale tonight, Danny's solo? Three words: HOLY FUCKING SHIT! That was amazing. Where did this kid come from and why isn't he like totally famous being the Nutcracker or the prince in Sleeping Beauty? He's phenomenal!
• Now I didn't like Sabra at first. I thought she was way annoying and a full on clown parade. Oh and I got annoyed when she said that if she wasn't dancing she'd be a stand up comedian. Because she's not funny. I'm funny. But anyway...girls got some serious talent. And the kicker is that she's only been dancing for four years. Take THAT Lacey.

The whole feeling of the show tonight is reminiscent of the last day of school. Everyone's dance is amazing. Everyone looks amazing. Nobody can do anything wrong. It's all lovey dovey and Care Bears during the finale. Nigel is still British. Mary Murphy is still crazy and dressed like a turquoise farm threw up on her.(And she has no upper lip.) Oh and they brought back Dan Karaty for the finale. I love it. He's a full on nerdy point-dexter who is a hip-hop choreographer. (Although I did just IMDB him and apparently he's done work with *Nsync and Chestica Simpson. So I guess he's no slouch. But he's still the kid that sat behind me in Sunday School and put gum in my  hair.)

Then you have Wade Robson (caaaaaaalll meeeeee) and Mia Michaels who are both brilliant in their own right but just come up with the craziest shit. Wade is like "Um...sooo Sabra and Lacey are both foxes and the scarves in their mouths represent their anguish about being a fox and they are lost and trying to find their foxy way back to their fox hole...."

Sort of out there. But Wade is tall and hot and has a nice voice.

Mia Michaels sort of scares me. Not gonna lie. She rocks that faux-hawk like it's her last day on earth and girlfriend WORK IT OUT. But she is definitely someone that I would never want to hang out with. I get the feeling that she thinks to much. Like if I asked her to pass the carrots she'd be like, "But why Lisa? Why do you want me to pass you the carrots. Do you want to eat them? Or are you merely trying to hide feelings for something deeper?"

"I just.....carrots.....eat....iiiiliiiiiiikkkkkeeecaaaaaan't...."

Ya get me?

So bravo dancers. I'm looking forward to the finale (when Lacey hopefully loses...I mean...)

The Hills: A recap

Yes, I watch The Hills on MTV. I DVR-ed it last night and my sister and I stayed up until 11:30 to tune in and see how LC and Co. are doing even though I read about them every single day in Life & Style, US Weekly and In Touch.

I watch The Hills even though I think Lauren is about as interesting as bio-chemistry. I watch The Hills even though Audrina has no upper lip and Whitney always sounds like she's about three Quaaludes deep when she speaks. I watch The Hills even though Spencer Pratt is, bar none, the most annoying reality TV character since Omarosa. Listening to him talk makes me want to gouge my eyes out Oedipus style.

But I have a confession to make: I actually watch The Hills for Heidi and Spencer. I'm sort of hoping that they get their own reality show because, honestly, that right there is just good old plain fun train wrecking television.

A re-cap shall we:

It starts off easy and breezy. Lauren saunters in to the Teen Vogue offices, which, thanks to the show I could now spot from outer-space and says HI to Whitney who, I guess got a promotion but still sits with the interns? Um. Cool.

Below is a run down of the opening conversation and what Whitney's and Lauren's thought bubbles would be if we actually had thought bubbles.

"Hi."

"Hi."

"You look pretty."

(I know) "So do you."

(I know) "So what's going on?" (I don't really care though because I'm your boss now and you're boring, but the producer told me to ask you this).

"Did you hear that Spencer and Heidi like totally spread rumors about how I made a sex tape with Jason?" (even though I like totally did).

"Wow. Really?" (Slut)

"I just can't understand why they would hurt me like that." (They didn't even show my good side. The camera made my vajayjay look huge)

(Insert all knowing nod here) "I know." (But it was totally you. I saw it on YouTube.)

Um. Yeaaaah. Lauren and Jason totally made that tape (I mean I think. I mean if I was dating Jason I would have made a tape). It's not a crime to have sex and tape it. It's just a crime of being stupid if you let it get loose. And that's what Lauren did. And she made such a big deal about it. You don't see everyone up in arms about how Heidi looks like a different person with her new nose and gigantically disproportionate boobs.

You should have just left well enough alone Lauren. Stick to being gassed and doing lousy British accents and embarrassing yourself at Les Deux. Don't get all up in Heidi's grill about your sex tape that you're trying to to "forget" about. Confrontation isn't a good color on you Lauren.

There were some other good tid-bits in the two new episodes last night Audrina's new "boyfriend" or "go-to-sex". Um. Nice beret he was wearing while they were out to dinner. Try washing your hair buddy.

Heidi and Spencer talking about painting the apartment. Heidi is like "Um so ya. I think I'm going to pick out some paint for the apartment."

(Pan in on Spencer's frozen clown-face)

"I was thinking like a pale yellow....?"

(Again, pan in on Spencer's clown-face with his teeth all bared) "Yellow Heidi? EEEEEEEEEEEEEE! (that is supposed to be like the sound of a buzzer indicating a "fuck no" response from someone. Such a charmer this one.)

Cut to commercial.

Come back and in walks Heidi to their apartment and all you see is graffiti everywhere. Spencer had someone "paint" their apartment walls in a graffiti motif. Like. Are you kidding me?! Right up on the wall in their living room is a mural with "HOLLYWOOD" in the middle surrounded by dollar signs. Was I absent on the day they taught this in Cool Class? Like WTF?!

Then, Spencer and Brody are tooling around and Spencer decides to tell Brody that he's going to propose to Heidi. Which immediately jump starts a "Dude! Don't do it!" response from Brody. Spencer says he's ready and then says that he'll need to borrow Brody's credit card so he can buy the ring.

Uh-huh.

Cut to the shot of them walking into, what looks to me, like a pawn shop. Spencer goes up to the girl and asks where the "bling" is. She pulls out a white gold ring with a purple stone in the middle surrounded by diamonds. (Just what I always wanted. A gigantic amethyst.)

He purchases it and gives it to Heidi in a "you're so amazing and loyal" marriage proposal. She accepts with a "you're so amazing and loyal" yes and off they go, walking hand in hand into the sunset while Lauren sits at home talking to her mother about how mean people in Hollywood are.

Will Lauren find true love as Les Deux? Will Heidi topple over from her implants? Stay tuned!!

Random Ramblings RE: TV

**THIS BLOG CONTAINS SPOILERS**

You all know I love TV. And just you're aware, I almost, usually, ALWAYS DVR my very favorite shows and watch them commercial free later. So I'm not the best person so recap with. Anyhew I was thinking about TV to myself the other night and just thought that I'd share my thoughts with you guys. Maybe someone can shed some light on a few of my ramblings.

24

Is it just me or is this season a total SNOOOOOZE fest? See here's the thing, this is the first season where I'm watching 24 in real time. I had never seen the show before so I Netflixed all of the seasons and just caught up about four episodes into this season. A coupla things:

1. Jack's nephew is SO his kid!
2. What happened to his hand? Did he get burned? That shit is heinous though. Get a band-aid.
3. Ooooooooof COURSE Audrey is back. And just for the record, my sister totally called this.
4. I still think Nadia is a bad guy. Something about her just rubs me the wrong way.
5. WHAT HAPPENED IN DENVERRRRR?????????
6. The fight scene with Abu Fayed? Gnarly. Loved the dramatic music though. So intense.
7. I'm calling it now: President Wayne Palmer will die.

How I Met Your Mother

I just watched two episodes of this show last night. (For some reason they were on my DVR....weird.) Anyway, this is by far one of the funniest shows on TV. Doogie Hauser is in it (NPH) along with the band geek from American Pie. I thought she would annoy me but it's seriously an LOL-type show. Great. Another show I like. Just what I need.

Lost

I don't watch Lost but........WHY ARE THEY STILL LOST?!?!!?!?!?!?SLD;FJFA;LDJF!!!

Grey's Anatomy

Ooooooook. Here we go:

• Izzy needs to get over Denny. Honestly, they never even had sex and most of the time they hung out he was rocking a hospital gown. Yes he was sexy and charming and knew how to rock that 5 o'clock shadow, but can we move on please? Thanks.
• George and Callie. There just are no words.
• It's my personal opinion that the writing is waning. Then again, the last time I saw an episode was about 30457349543957 months ago so maybe things have changed by now. So when will a new episode be aired??

Heroes

GAH! I love this show I love this show I love this show!!!

• Is the hot Indian dude dead? (He's like....so hot!)
• Will Peter Petrelli live?
• What's up with Clare's mom?
• So....many....un...answered....QUESTIONS!!!

Entourage

This sausage fest of a show is just what I need before I head to bed at night on a Sunday. Wait...that doesn't sound right. Merrrranyway. Love Entourage but anyone else think that the banter with Vince & Co. is a little forced? Whatever. I still love it. But what I don't need to see is Turtle getting his groove on. Ew-AH.

p.s....I miss Ari as Super Agent.

Sopraonos

Who do we think is getting whacked???? I think Phil Leotardo is going to get revenge on Christoper for killing his baby brother. That I can safely say I think will happen. I wonder if Tony will get back at his brother-in-law for beating the snot out of him over a drunken game of Monopoly?? (Ooooh boys will be boys!!!)

As for the rest of them? I have a feeling Paulie Walnuts will go down in some sort of stand-off/shoot out. But I really can't say what I think will happen with Tony. I kind of want him and Dr. Melfi to get it on in her decidedly boring office. What? It's been a long time coming!

Since this is the series finale there is so little to wrap up and so much time to do it in.

Wait. Strike that. Reverse it.

ANTM Cycle 8 Throw Doooooownnn-AH...

Yeah that's right. America's Next Top Model premiered tonight. Two full hours of Tyra weave, fugly fros and HILAR commentary. It was 120 minutes of sheer bliss. Accelerated, of course, by copious amounts of CAB SAV.

Thanks to the hospitality of one Elle Steiner-hostess designer, Hump Day was quite the enjoyable one. Some highlights:

• "Um. I don' theeek iz like riiight to kill an animal for its fur. But if iz like, already dead, then I think it's fine." Right. Because there is such an abundance of dead Minxes and Foxes on the side of I-95. Thank God she got booted. Although, I kinda wish she stayed because she had RATINGS just popping out of that fro.

• It was pretty entertaining watching the gorgeous Russian girl and listen to her speak since my boss and her two daughters were there and my boss came over from Russian. It was like "Um do we laugh? Do we make fun of her? What do I do?"

• The Latin girl who got booted in the first round last year but made it this year....? What the hell is her name? Gisella? Helena? Margaret? Shit. I forget her name but she took a sick ass photo. I was pleasantly surprised.

• Oh dear Lord. Jael? Slit my wrists. If I have to listen to her talk for another episode I'm throwing myself off of the Zachim. And anyone else agree that she's channeling Minnie Driver? Totes right?

• Um that girl Renee's body? She like JUST had a kid and she is rocking a hard core twelve pack. Bitch. But she's super pretty and she needs to keep her mouth shut and just worry about herself.

• Sarah. Oh Sarah and her dumb ass Midwestern accent. Next to the Australian accent, quite possibly the most annoying one out there. I mean there's the Fargo and Wisconsin accent but at least it's funny when I make fun of those ones. Oh whoops, I'm getting off track. Yeah Sarah is annoying. And she's fugly. Next.

• Big props for that pizza Steiner put out. Very yummy and I think from Costco if I remember correctly...?

• DUDE! This girl didn't make it but the one who's weave was falling out?! NAST. She was like "Oh yeah my best friend had to borrow my weave..." and then she like pulled it out to show Tyra. At least I don't think she made it. Someone refresh my memory.

• Um. Tyra stomping the yard at the beginning of the episode. Like. What was up with the sorority sister t-shirt? Was she even in that sorority? Did Tyra even go to college?

• I just....can't get over Jael.

• I love the two girls who are "plus sized". What are they a size 8? Fucking blimps they are! They should be dragged out to the street and shot.

• Nigel Barker. Do me.

So that's it for now. Feel free to comment with your own thoughts on the show. If you watch it that is. And if you don't watch it, you should.

The DR of Fresh will be entering into a pool first thing in the morning. We've upped the anty. Twenty smacker-ROOS is what you have to put in the pot in order to play. We're high rollers. Big money ballas. Cash money millionaires. Yeah. You get the idea.

I'm keeping mum about who I want to be on my team. All I have to say is that it's on like Donkey Kong.

What comes after "L"???? BOOOOOOOOOWS!!!!!!

*woot*!!!!!

Brief notes on the 2007 Academy Awards

Well I have to comment because everyone else is doing it. And I know you all want to know what I thought of the 2007 Academy Awards that were on last night and went until the weeeeee hours of this morning.

So below is my commentary, in no particular order:

• YAHOOOOO MARTIN SCORSESE!!!!! It's about freakin' time. I loved The Departed and I'm just so pumped that he finally won. Plus he's incredibly adorable.

• Why was Jessica Biel there? Who are her fans? She's not even a good actress or anywhere near becoming an Oscar winner. Plus she looked completely heinous. Nice hair. Gross.

• Penny Cruz looked stunning. Loved the dress and I wish my eye brows were as dark as hers.

• During the course of the awards I developed a girl crush on Helen Mirren. I mean, did you see her rack?! She's like 65 and rocking those boobs like she's 25. You go girl.

• Jennifer Hudson: Clothing. Ok so not that I'm one to talk, but her back fat was a little disturbing. Maybe that's why she wore a mini coat made out of aluminum foil...? I think that from the front she looked gorgeous, but when she turned around...eeeeek. Not a good scene.

• Jennifer Hudson: The Oscar winner. I did see Dream Girls. I enjoyed the film and thought Beyonce was awful which I think is the consensus heard 'round the world. While I think J-Hud was awesome in DG, I think she is a singer and not an actress and didn't deserve the award. Actually I'm kind of annoyed that she won. Although I didn't see Little Miss Sunshine, I saw enough of the clips to go ahead and root for that little Abigail girl. I mean I'm going to place bets that J-Hud isn't really going to be offered any roles that don't involve music.

• Ellen was hilarious. But she was barely on screen! I think she had a total of ten minutes air time. Which isn't her fault. Whatever bozo directed the broadcast last night did a shitty job and I hope his or hers next directing gig is a Saturn commercial.

• Just to follow up on my point above, I wish someone warned me to take my No Doze. The awards going after midnight?! WTF? And what's this about not having any good awards until 2.5 hours in? Let's be honest, no one cares about the Best Animated Short. No one has seen those movies. Why can't we just move it along!

• Cate Blanchett's dress and jewelry was amazing. I was so glad to see her in something other than yellow, beige or gold. The gunmetal grey (or PMS 432 for us nerdy art people out there) was lovely on her.

• I know what I want for Christmas next year!!!!! NICOLE KIDMAN!!!! I mean she looked so good dressed as a present last night. Who wouldn't want that under their tree??

• And while we're on the topic of Aussies who looked Fugly, WTF was Naomi Watts wearing?? The mini sleeves? The yellow dress with the black sash? I mean...maybe Naomi was trying to beeeeeee herself, but she looked hid.

• Anne Hathaway is so pretty. Why did she have to wear that dress?

• I'm not sure what to make of Jack Nicholson's bald head. Erm......yar.

• Quite possibly one of the funniest things that happened during the entire show: When Clint Eastwood (who was rocking some serious cream blush) presented some sort of achievement award. I don't really know what it was because I wasn't really paying attention. Anyway so the gentleman who accepted the award comes out and starts speaking what I think was Italian. Everyone is super confused, including Ken Watanabe who's face kept coming up on the screen. Anonymous Man finishes part of his speech and looks over at Clint who goes, "Um....yeah...." and then proceeds to repeat, in English, what Anonymous Man had just said. So funny.

• Where were Brad and Angelina? As X-tine so elegantly put it, "UMM....Probably having SEX!!!" Probably.

• Leo DiCaprio.I said it during the Golden Globes and I'll say it again: Do me.

• Everyone said that Cameron Diaz looked like a napkin. You know, I actually really liked her outfit. She's quirky and cute. She's tall and thin. She can wear a Hefty bag and pull it off. She's just that lucky.

• I understand that Francis Ford Coppola is staging a directorial comeback, but did he have to do it wearing a cobalt blue bow tie?

• Diane Keaton?? She looked amazing!

• WTF was Kirsten Dunst wearing?! And her hair? She looked like she had walked a hundred miles of bad road. And who was the dude she was with? Was it just me or did KD looked a smidgen coked out as she frantically adjusted her mystery date's bow tie before she hit the red carpet....?

• Celine Dion looked stunning. And even though her husband is like 98, I think they're adorable together.

• Why did Maggie Gyllenhallajdfla;sdfkj have two toned hair?

• Divorce looks excellent on Reese.

That is all. Until 2008.....

Grey's Anatomy was so stupid.

**THIS BLOG CONTAINS SPOILERS!!!**

I mean honestly, there's no other way to put it. Who watches Grey's Anatomy?? Did you see it last night? Did you not want to throw a Swedish fish or ice cube at the television?

Let's break it down shall we:

• Starts off the episode with Meredith Grey (aka Ellen "String bean" Pompeo) narrating all breathy-like spouting off all sorts of metaphors and imagery and faux sadness. If you watched the episode from last week you know that she attempted to drown herself in the bathtub. Did she really mean to do it? We never found out because McDreamy ran in to save her and then they both avoided each other the entire morning and then the ferry boat accident happened and now we're here.

• So at the end of last week Meredith got accidentally pushed into the water by a guy who's leg she was trying to get a piece of boat metal out of. I mean, he didn't mean to do it. The guy's shin bone was yanging out. Anyway so Meredith is bobbing in the water, narrating narrating, breathy breathy. She appears at the top of the water. Looks around a bit and then goes back under. Um...So wait. She wants to drown?? I'm sitting there trying to think back to AP High school English and what water symbolizes....Ok so she wanted to oft herself.

• Insert Creepy Little Blonde Girl with the Creepy Little Pigtails just standing there. She looks like she could totally star in the remake of "Poltergeist". Get with it kid!!! We're in the middle of a crisis here!!!

• Cut to the scene where Christina Yang is pissed at George and won't help him find a little boy because she wasn't allowed to go to the crash site. Anyone else here sick of Yang's competitive edge? Dear Shonda Rimes, We get it. Yang is your competitive robot doctor who wants to be the best she can be and has no emotional attachment to any patients. Please give us something else to care about. Love, Lisa.

• *This Just In: Alex Karev Saves The Day!!!* Well I mean if that's how you want to look at it. I feel like the writers of GA are always trying to make Alex look as "dumb as dog shit" as you can get and then during the next episode they find some way to make him redeem himself. Just make him hot and dumb or make him hot and smart. It's season three of the show. We're aware that Alex is fighting inner battles. Come on. Aren't we all???

• *GAH!* Izzy with the drill?! Merrrrrrrrrrrrrr....There's something about an industrial power drill grinding into someone's frontal lobe while they're stuck under a car that just seems the teeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeniest bit unrealistic to me.....Not the mention heinously unsanitary...

• Oh Addison. Even through all of this carnage and drama you still have found some way to make it about you and your flawless hair. Addison to Karev: "She's still a Jane Doe. It makes you wonder...if I went missing (insert doe eyes here) would anyone notice that I was gone..?" Well Addy...you're a pretty high ranking doctor who is supposed to report to work on a daily basis and save the lives of tiny premature babies. It appears that you have friends and are not a junkie crack addict. So If you went missing, I'm pretty sure someone would send a flare up. But I don't know you from a ham sand which so I personally would not care if you went missing.

• Ok and we're back to Meredith. McDreamy pulls her out of the ocean after Creepy Blonde Pigtailed Little Girl pointed all creepy like to the water. MG had been under for an indeterminable amount of time. She's an unflattering shade of blueish gray but from what we know she's still alive. I mean, how long can you be submerged under cold water before you a.) drown and b.) die of hypothermia??? What we do know is that her body temperate is 80 degrees and according to Wikipedia this is b-a-d.

• Um...anyone else think that Izzy's choice to tell George that she thinks he made a mistake by marrying Callie was poor timing? Iiii mean...their best friend is pretty much a frozen pea on a table in the next room and she's bringing it up now?? But then again I thought Izzy's whole soliloquy during that scene was so bizarre. "I believe that because we believe we are better.." or whatever she said. Who wrote this episode??????

• I just have to comment on the Guy Love that was going on while every important doctor was trying to save Meredith's life. McDreamy was forced out of the room because, well let's face it, he's too emotional. We see him crying and then we see a pair of legs standing next to him. The pair of legs sit down to reveal a hot face; McSteamy. McSteamy and McDreamy both look at each other and McDreamy continues to cry while McSteamy puts his hand on his former best friend's arm. Touching really. Even in near death Meredith is helping to mend burned bridges.

• Ok. Back to the action. With a minute left in the fourth quarter, the camera pans in on Meredith's deathly looking face and then the screen goes to white. The scene comes back on and we're panned in on Meredith's sleeping, healthy looking face. All of a sudden she gasps for air and shoots up like a rocket. She looks to her left and standing there is the hot bomb squad dude who got blown up in Season 2 (so hot). Hot Bomb Squad Dude: "Hey there."  MG: "Am I dead..?" We then hear a familiar raspy voice; Denny: "You bet your ass you are." Camera pans out to show the three of them in the room. MG: "Holy ____ " (insert what we think would be shit. However, she just found out she's dead so it could have been any number of profanities. I mean, my first reaction would be "Holy fucking FUCK!" But that's just me.)

• Dead Denny is hot. Like really hot. Like I'm even more sad for Izzy now.

Ok, so in closing, a letter:

Dear Shonda Rimes,

I realize I just wrote you a little note but I have an addendum. You are not ER. Which is fine. I personally stopped watching ER when the whole Africa story line started and when they brought on Abby Lockheart. She bugs the hell out of me. But I digress. You are not ER so enough with the whole "real doctor" scenarios.

The free clinic?  Meh. The three part series about a boat crash. So ER!! Just stick to what you're good at. Love triangles, Meredith and her dumb issues that we love (if she lives to continue having those dumb issues), quick cute banter between Christina and Meredith (erm again...if she lives) and killer soundtracks that correspond with really really dramatic life saving scenes that make me cry myself to sleep. ER has the life saving scenes but the music will get you every time. I really don't think I would have sobbed like a little baby during the season 2 finale when Denny died had "Chasing Cars" not been playing. I mean right?

I can't say that I am loving this season. Perhaps it's time to introduce a new character. But you might want to make it someone who is as equally thin as Meredith. Why exactly do they hate Callie??

I love your show though for what it's worth. And I'll still watch it. But let's up the anty shall we. Feel free to call my manager to set up a meeting with you. I have some other ideas I'd love to share with you for story lines.

Kind regards,

Lisa

All hail the winner of the ANTM pool at The Spoil

*insert golf clap* JSutt is the winner of the first ever America's Next Top Model pool that took place at The Spoil.

In the beginning of last nights episode we were left with three girls:

Caridee



Eugena

and *barf* Melrose.

Well thank GOD that they voted of Eugena first. I mean she's pretty and all but she has about as much personality as my left Puma sneaker. Crisis averted there. So it was between crazy and fun Caridee and annoying and even more annoying Melrose (who's real name is Melissa Rose, but she decided to be cool and meld her names together. Hurl. I hate her).

So the final challenge was for the two of them to do a runway show as ghostly brides. I mean, Melrose killed it on the runway. She's got the walk and the runway look down. But she looks old in photographs and is such an annoying perfectionist who tries too hard.

Dear Melrose,
No one likes a know-it-all.
Love,
YGIU

Now, Caridee looked a taaaaad bit stiff on the runway and when they had to do the whole scary/screaming bride thing at the end she totes looked like an ass clown. But you can learn a runway walk and this girl is gorgeous. She's got the whole Karolina Kurkova thing going on.

So congratulations again to JSutt. You had fabu picks. I mean Steiner and I did give you a run for your money but in the end you walked out with the loot!!!

In case you missed it (or care).

Guess who's gay? *shocker*

George from Grey's Anatomy.

The actor TR Knight who plays the goofable George on Grey's came out to People Magazine on Thursday after an apparent kerfuffle on set sparked rumors that he was playing for the same team. Click here to read the article from my peeps at CNN.com.

I heard this morning on Kiss 108 that Isaiah Washington (the guy who plays Burke) called Knight the F word. And not like the main F word.....ya picking up what I'm putting down...?

Um. Looks like the crew of GA needs some sensitivity training.

In any case, I love this show and the whole cast can be gay for all I care. As long as Christina is still brutally competitive, Meredith stays whiny, and Alex stays scummy and hot.

YGIU.com's Fall TV Low Down: America's Next Top Model *AJ Axed!!*

I'm not too sure what's going on up there with the TV gods but they gone and lost their minds.

A.J. is gone and Jaeda is still in the running towards becoming America's. Next. Top. Model.

AXED!!

Jigga what is going on?

I still can't believe that all of my girls are still alive and well. And I'm this much closer to winning that $20!!! But Jaeda is like, not doing it for me. I can't believe she beat out A.J. I'm still in shock. I think I need CPR administered.

But for serious. My notes:

• Melrose is a heinous annoyance. But she's good. And that troubles me.
• Anchal needs to get over herself. She's gorgeous (well everyone thinks she is except Vdigital) and has an awesome body. Boo-fucking-hoo. Quit crying and model.
• Brooke is a clown.
• I love how, every time Tyra calls Caridee's name she does this whole, "Ooofta!" mid-western type of noise. Anyone else notice that? Gets me every time.
• Um...the twins??? You cannot tell me that the producers of the show didn't ask Michelle to come out on TV? She was probably having a very private conversation with her sister about it when Sallie the 63rd assistant to the 4th director overheard it and decided it would be a great lead in to tonight's show.

Next week Eugena beefs up the bitch factor. Can't wait to see who gets booted off! Let's see if my chicas can make it through another week unscathed.

YGIU.com's Fall TV Low Down: Dancing with the Stars

Ok I love Dancing With the Stars. I don't care what anyone says. It is the Guiltiest McGuilterson's of pleasure...right up there with Gilmore Girls (which I will be reviewing soon. Don't worry.) And it's the only reality TV that I watch so whatever. I do heart the show, but I realize that it is a slight misnomer. I mean...Dancing With the Stars?? Come on. These people are about as famous as me (with the exception of Jerry Springer). Shall we call it, say, Dancing with the First Moon of Pluto??

But I digress.

The very wonderful and amazing Dancing With the Stars is on live Tuesday nights on ABC from 8-9:30 p.m. with a results show airing live on Wednesday nights from 8-9p.m.

Here's a break down of the couples who are left:

Mario Lopez and his partner who's last name is Smirnoff. (Ya think she's Russian??):

• Ok yeah so he can dance. But he'll always be A.C. Slater. "What's up preppy??"
• Um...he cheated on his fiance with a stripper. At. His. Bachelor. Party.
• His best friend is Eva Longwhoria. Which ABC totes pimps out. What if her show was on NBC? Would they be so willing??
• Anyone else out there notice that when he has to do a Latin number he all of a sudden develops this Mexican accent, from like...out of nowhere.
• He and vodka girl are totally boffing

Is it likely that Mario will be in the top 2: Yes. Although he annoys the living shit out of me.

Joey Lawrence and his partner Edyta Slawiskandsflergvanshermasdfber (another Russian):

• I honestly had no idea Mr. Clean was entering into the competition!
  
  
• He's come a long way from Blossom.
• His partner is like, ridiculously gorgeous. I'm not too sure who or what his wife is but I'd be at the studio like, every day taking notes on his "dancing".
• Joey Lawrence is very polite, I'll give him that. He's always saying "Thank you very much," and "Ok I will definitely work on that," to the judges. I mean...gotta give him that.

Is it likely that Joey will be in the top 2: He started out as a crowd and judge favorite, but he's been really slipping. I'm curious to see what the results show will bring tomorrow after he and Edyta danced the Rumba tonight. But no. I don't think he will make it. Shame.

Emmitt Smith and his partner Cheryl Burke (reigning champ of DWTS from last season. She won with Drew Lachey:

• All I can say is that Emmitt Smith is simply ja'dorable. I love him. He is without a doubt my favorite.
• If I knew, at the age of 3, that all of those "stupid ass" ballet and tap and jazz lessons that my mother made me take would have given me the body that Cheryl Burke possesses...I would've stuck with the pink tights and hot pink sequined costumes.

Is it likely that Emmitt will be in the top 2: Yes.

Jerry Springer and his Aussie partner Kym "Must Have Killed Puppies In Her Past Life To Be Paired With Him" Johnson:

• Oh Man. Jerry is like the most awful dancer ever. He has absolutely no idea what he's doing. BUT...the guy is 62 and he's been around the block so what do you expect?
• His daughter is getting married soon and Jerry said that he just wanted to make it to the waltz so he perform the dance at his daughters wedding. He totes made it and I cried when he danced. DWTS makes me weep!!!

Is it likely that Jerry will make it to the top 2: Hard to say. The judges like him but merely for the entertainment portion. They are not rooting for him to win. But he's definitely a crowd favorite. And if all of his fans are allowed one phone call then he's a shoo-in!!

Monique Coleman (who?) and her partner Louis Van Amstel Light:

• Who is this girl? She's an actress? Like in a real movie? I hear it's called "High School Musical"??? Meh...never heard of her.
• She can dance fo' sho.
• Apparently it's important to have good arms because Len Goodman (the head judge) sports wood every time he mentions her "lovely arms" in his very cockney accent. Which he does. A lot.
• I just have to make mention of her partner, Louis and how much he freaks me out:
  
  
  I mean doesn't he just scream American Psycho??? Erm...or Dutch Psycho rather since that is what is listed as his Nationality?? I mean the two of them dancing together? Trying to produce chemistry????
  
  
  Kinda mind blowing...dontcha thing??

Is it likely that Monique will be in the top 2: She's the only lady left in the competition. Gotta root for my sista from anotha mista.

So that's it for the people who are still in the running. You can check out those who got kicked off by going to ABC.com (that and I posted an active link earlier in my blog. Aren't I nice???)

Ok. Now for Sara Evans bashing:

There was a dancer on the show Sara Evans who was apparently a huge country singer. I'd never heard of her, but well that's not saying much because I'm not the biggest of country fans. Anyway she sucked. She sucked big time. Her dance moves were stiff and awkward and consisted of fluttery hand movements and vacant stares. I read a blog out there that said she was sexy. Tell me, dear blog writer? Do you find many dead fish sexy????

Anyway, I consistently hemmed and hawed about how much I hated her. And how she was going to end up probably winning over my beloved Emmitt.

Imagine my joy when I tuned in tonight to find that she'd dropped out of the competition. I was like a kid at Christmas! I mean forget the fact that she dropped out because her husband apparently had a thing for porn when his kids were home and she was filing for divorce, the dead unsexy fish was gone! Can I get a hand clap?!

So if you're around on Tuesday nights and near a computer, put a vote in for Emmitt. I mean..I was no Cowboys fan but for a big guy he can move.