Your Girlfriend is Ugly

My iPod shuffles up some amazingness.

Two summers ago I purchased a little $17.00 iPod docking station from the Christmas Tree Shop in Hyannis. It's some silly no name brand thing and it's lasted longer than the lip treatment I purchased at Clinique last Friday. (For the record I have no recollection of losing the lip product and I am very disappointed with myself for having lost it. SAD FACE.)

Anyway, for obvious reasons the iPod and docking station are fabulous to have at work. You get to listen to your own music and you can drown out strange, shitty music that your coworkers are playing.

The shuffle option on the iPod is my personal favorite. For the purpose of making this blog even more fabulous than it already is I will now list the last 10 songs that have come blasting out of the speakers:  

1. Heart - "All I wanna Do is Make Love To You." How do you not heart Heart?!Seen them live and they're amazing.
2. I don't know why my numbers are messed up but...meh.
3. P. Diddy - "Bad Boys For life." Wasn't Ben Stiller in this video?
4. Chicago - "If You Leave Me Now." Gotta love the "ooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" part of the song.
5. Red Hot Chili Peppers - "Wet Sand." Summer 2007. Nantucket. That is all.
6. Ashlee Simpson - "Boyfriend." Whatever. I still like to dance around in my underwear to this song.
7. Citizen Cope - "Pablo Picasso." All of his songs have such a good vibe. .
8. Buffalo Tom - "Late at Night." I downloaded this when I was watching episodes of My So Called Life. This song plays when Jordan Catalano grabs hold of Angela's hand at school after saying, "Can we, uh, go somewhere?" He finally acknowledges they are couple! Why did that show go off the air???
9. Buck Cherry - "I Love the Cocaine." Good party mix song!
10. Janis Joplin - "Piece of my Heart." TAKE IT!
11. Notorious BIG - "Mo Money Mo Problems." RIP Biggie, RIP.

NKOTB back in action.

What's next? Snap bracelets and the "wave" hair style??

NKOTB is planning a reunion tour.

Oh dear God...

I'm not entirely sure how I feel about this. I mean clearly they've all run out of money and thought, "If the Spice Girls can do it, so can we!"

Mmmmmmmyeeeeah....not so much. I mean I remember getting up on a Saturday morning from my NKOTB themed bed, smoothing out my NKOTB nightgown, grabbing my pillow with Joey McIntyre on it and leaving my room, but not before kissing my NKOTB poster and heading downstairs to watch the NKOTB Saturday morning cartoon. After which I'm sure I called Rose to discuss how dreamy the whole thing was.

I find the whole reunion thing creepy. At least the Spice Girls had fun music like "SPICE UP YA LIFE!" and that catchy albeit annoying, "I really really really really wanna zig zigaaaaa..."

NKOTB has "Oh oh oh you're my cover guuuuuuuuUUUUuuurl..." and "Oh Oooh Oooh OOOH ooh...hanging' tough..." The music just seems so....so 1988.

And we've also seen what some of the NKOTB boys can do! I saw Joey McIntyre in Wicked. Pretty damn good too. And although the show got canceled, Donnie Wahlberg was in Boomtown on NBC which was a really reeeeally good show. Boy showed he can act.

The official announcement is going to come from the group tomorrow on the Today Show. So even though I can't stand Matt Lauer and crew I'll be tuning in to see what develops.

So...NKOTB back in action...DISCUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

I caved to Britney Spears

I swore up and down that I would not entertain thoughts of downloading Britney Spears' new album when it came out. I steadfastly refused. She's a mess and a bad mom and a drug addict and just a train wreck no matter how many ways you slice it.

I mean...exhibit A: Her VMA crack out comeback

Please. Charles Manson would have an easier time entering back into society.

So when Black Out hit stores I said, "Nope. Not gonna do it". I mean. I would jam out when "Gimme More" came on the radio but that was it, just some harmless booty shaking. Black Out would never have a home on my iPod.

Meh.

After tooling around in LK's car last Sunday and listening to "Piece of Me" I caved. I caved like a molten lava chocolate cake after you tear into it for the first bite. Like Adam, I too, took the apple. (Well that might be a little overly dramatic. I mean...comparing my lack of will power to The Old Testament...? Mmmmmaybe a bit much.)

So now, thanks to the iPod stylings of one Jessica Sutton I'm all Britney Spears-ed up. Currently listening to...um...what am I listening to..? "Heaven on Earth". It sucks btdubb.

She is just such a mess. And the thing that kills me is that, while this album is not going to win any Grammy's, it could do well if she just got her shit together and did some hard core press for it.

But man do I love me some "Hot as Ice" even if the name of the song doesn't make any sense. Hey we never said she was a Rhodes Scholar.

I heart Christina Aguilera.

It's no secret that my taste in music is decidedly unhip. I mean Billy Joel is like my favorite artist. (No matter what anyone says! He's still got it!!!). But I do have to say that one of my favorite performers is Christina Aguilera. Home girl has got some pipes!

For real.

Anyway so I went to the concert with Slut this past Friday. Our seats were decent. Danity Kane was the first act to go on. And with that being said......Isn't Diddy supposed to be some sort of perfectionist?? Because these girls looked like they forgot to take their Ritalin. THEY WERE AWFUL!!!

I mean just awful. And the girl second from the right looked like a Mexican jumping bean. Flailing her skinny ass all around that stage thinking she looked good. I felt so awkward for them. And the thing that kept annoying me was that their skirts/dresses/skorts were so tight and high that they kept having to pull them down. I mean, take a note from the Pussycat Dolls and just wear shorts that may look like real shorts but in actuality are painted to their bodies. I think it's called shellack.

Speaking of PCD.....

These girls can definitely shake their tail-feathers. And I have to say that the Tranny (i.e. the one all the way to the left with the red hair. She even has a tranny name....Carmit..? What is that??) is the best dancer out of the five of them. But this one right here...

Nicole Sherzingnerlier;lsaidjf....Is just soooooooooooooooooooo impressed with herself. It's exhausting really. She came out and did a little solo thingy and at the end she actually winked and gave a self satisfying smile as if to say, "Yes. Thank you. I know....no really....keep applauding." No wonder why the rest of them hate her.

Then there was a little intermission where Slut and I got more booze and silently judged everyone. Honestly, what are people thinking when they step out of the house in these outfits? It blows my mind. And newsflash....It doesn't matter how skinny you are, you can still have cellulite. So before you walk out of your house in those skintight white pants thinking that you are hot shit, check your ass for dimples in the mirror. For a second I thought I was in Wisconsin with all the cheese.

Anyway then we had a photo shoot as we waited for Xtina to take the stage:

We're so twilight...

A what-whaaaaat??

Someone forgot the zoom was on...Sluuuuuuuuuuut...

YAY! The Show is starting!

Ayo...peace out.

Ain't no otha man.....! Woohoooooooo-ah!

At this point I have developed a girl crush on her..

Pimping around that stage in some serious Louboutains...

So yay. All in all the show was great and I recommend her to any and everyone!! :)

Marvin would roll over in his grave.

So I'm sitting here at The Spoil. I'm trying to file away some of the papers on my desk and answer emails from like 2004. My progress thus far? This morning my desk looked like this:

And right now it looks like this:

Which makes me feel like this:

Nervous and dubious.

But anyway, I'm trying to bust through this stuff and I have playing on my iPod my "Just Great" play list. A smattering of just good tunes from artists such as Citizen Cope, Michael Jackson, Big & Rich, Madonna, Jane's Addiction and MUCH MUCH MORE!!!

So Sex and Candy finishes and as I'm typing up an email, I hear the familiar, "Get up, get up, get up, get up....wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up..."  Oooh yeah...Marvin Gaye in the hizz-ouse!!

Naturally I sing along. So the lyric comes up when he's like, "I can't wait for you to....." and I belt out "ovulate". I mean....ovulate makes sense right? I mean, it's a song about bumping uglies. So the song finishes but I replay it. Sure enough it sounds like he's saying ovulate. Hmm..well that can't be right.

I hit my leetle "e" friend and go to Lyrics.com. M. Marvin Gaye. Sexual Healing......scroll scroll scroll....

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh......"I can't wait for you to OPERATE...."

Operate what? A stick shift? The remote control??

Whatever....ovulate, while kind of strange still makes more sense. I mean right?!

Lips I'd like to strangle.

God I am so effing sick of this Hinder song. I realize that I listen to Top 40 stations so I'm bound to hear it every twenty minutes but like...*gah*!! I've decided to break it down.

And coming down the pipe in 5...4...3...2...1...And now the world premier of Lisa Gradie's break down of Hinder's "Lips of an Angel."

Honey why you calling me so late
It's kinda hard to talk right now
Honey why you crying is everything okay?
I gotta whisper 'cause I can't be too loud

Well well well! Someone's getting freaky deaky with a dirty mistress! You know he's the one cheating too. But like he picks up the phone all, "DOOD why are you calling me so late?! I'm kiiiinda in the middle of something. Ah Christ don't cry...I'm sorry...." Try for the softer approach next time you have an affair Mr. Hinder Lead Singer.

Well, my girl's in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on

Does the dirty mistress know that he has a live in girlfriend? I mean obviously she knows that she is indeed the other woman so like why call his home? Most people meet at motels. (Didn't Julie Cooper teach anyone ANYTHING?!?!!?) Clearly the dirty mistress is asking to get caught. Oooh will there be a cat fight complete with extensions flying about? Oh and sidebar: Sometimes I wish she was you?? Haaaaaaaaaaaaaarsh....

It's really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak
And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

What angel are we talking about here??

Erm...or....

No lips like todaaaaaaaaaaaaays!!!

He doesn't have the teeth of an angel though....

And what bothers me about this song is that you don't understand why he just won't leave his current ho and go for the dirty mistress. I mean is the current ho preggers? Is she like really wealthy and is bank rolling Hinder's World Tour? There's no explanation. Damnit I want answers as to why!!

But there's no time for answers...ON WARD!!!

It's funny that you're calling me tonight
And yes I dreamt of you too
And does he know you're talking to me
Will it start a fight
No I don't think she has a clue

Oh yeah...it's funny...reeeeeeal HIL-ARRRR!!! I'm laughing so hard I have a stitch. If I can just say, has anyone seen this video? Like it's this greasy dude talking into the phone (who I, of course, think is like so hot...love me a dirty rocker guy) and he's like singing this song into the phone while his blond girlfriend who has "no clue" sits on the bed lotioning her legs.

So in this portion of the song we realize that the dirty mistress (who is played in the video by Emmanuelle Chriqui AKA Sloane on Entourage) in fact has a boyfriend. Dirty Rocker Lead Singer of Hinder guy asks her, "Will it start a fight?"

Um...nah...!

No he'll just sit back, maybe spark up a doobie and say "Whatever Broseph...take her. I mean I was kinda getting bored with her anyway. Hey wanna switch?"

*Repeat chorus and insert my wise ass lines with it*

And apparently Hinder could only come up with a song that would have two verses because they repeat the chorus again...and again...ground breaking stuff I tell you. We never do find out what happens with the star crossed lovers.

Lyrics courtesy of www.lyrics.com

**Update: I realize now that not everyone may have heard of this song. This is me assuming that everyone listens to bad music like me. So here's the link to a video of them performing it. Damn YouTube! I couldn't find the actual music vid...

Enjoy barfing!

Click meeeeee

Welcome to Fall 2006 Mix

Well as many of you know...I'm into burning mix CD's for appropriate occasions. You know...like if you're taking a road trip to Nantucket or if you're just plain wanting to kill yourself and you need some depressing music to add to the mood.

To pay homage to Fall 2006 which has swiftly come up to kick me in the arse, I have made a mix CD welcoming Fall '06. I haven't quite decided yet if this is just out of sheer boredom that I've done this or if I really am this psyched about Fall. Either way, I know Larry and Shannie will be pumped about my new music compilation. Holla.

REM
Night Swimming

Pink
Who Knew

John Mayer
A random song I found on one of Larry's CD's about him singing how he has "hos in different area codes. So great.

Amerie
1thing

Asslee Simpson
Boyfriend

Augustana
Boston

Barenaked Ladies
When I fall

Beatles
Paperback Writer

Ben Fold's Five
Brick

Busta Rymes
Put Your Hands Where My Eyes Can See

Butch Walker
Maybe it's just me (this appeared on my former play list blog. It's just too good to not have)

Cadie Stanton
You've Got The Love (song playing at the end of Sex and the City series finale)

Carly Simon
The Stuff That Dreams Are Made Of (grew up listening this from my dad)

Chamillionaire
Ridin' Dirty

Cher
Just Like Jesse James (this song is fucking amazing)

Corinne Bailey Rae
Like A Star

Damien Rice
Cannonball

Danity Kane
Show Stopper

David Gray
Babylon II

Deep Blue Something
Breakfast At Tiffany's

Dexy's Midnight Runners
Come On Eileen

E-40
U and Dat

Aqualung
Brighter Than Sunshine

Erasure
A Little Respect

Fergie
London Bridge (I mean...had to have this diddy).

Foo Fighters
Times Like These

Guns 'n Roses
Knocking on Heaven's Door

Jack Hylton and His Orchestra
Happy Feet (High Heels Mix)

James Blunt
So Long Jimmy

Janes Addiction
Blister In The Sun

JoJo
Too Little Too Late (I'm like obsessed with this song)

John Mayer
Waiting On The World To Change

Jay-Z
Brush Your Shoulders Off (that's for you Larr!!!)

Jimmy Eat World
Sweetness

Katie Melua
Just Like Heaven (This is my star pick!! Go and download it now!)

The Roots
The Next Movement

Kellis
Bossy

Keane
The Frog Prince

Len
Steal My Sunshine

Liz Phair
Why Can't I

Ludacris
Money Maker

Madonna
Live To Tell

Missy Elliot
I Can't Stand The Rain

The Youth Group
Forever Young

Nada Surf
Blankest Year

Nelly
Shake Ya Tailfeather

Nickleback
Far Away (because summer is just that....so so far away...)

Nirvana
Come As You Are

Pearl Jam
Daughter

Rachael Yamagata
Worn Me Down

Red Hot Chili Peppers
Dani California

Regina Spektor
Fidelity (She's ja'dorable. Check her out.)

Sade
No Ordinary Love

Sia
Breathe Me

Skye Sweetnam
Tangled Up In Me

Snow Patrol
Chocolate

Stevie Nicks & Don Henley
Leather and Lace

Story Of The Year
Sidewalks (acoustic)

Sun Kil Moon
Gentle Moon (Love this song. I have it on every mix.)

T.I.
What You Know About That

The Roots
Push Up Ya Lighter

Three 6 Mafia
I Gotta Stay Fly

Toby Lightman
Front Row

Van Morrison
Tupelo Honey

Vanessa Carlton
Who's To Say

Yellowcard
One Year, Six Months

Stevie Wonder
That's What Friends Are For

I know there may be a few overlaps from my last music list (Yellowcard, Chili Peppers, etc...) but some songs just can't be omitted.

p.s...Little Tall Sutton....I'm pretty sure I have all of the names and artists correct this time....we'll see....

Happy Fall :):)

Buttons! Zippers! Toggle Hooks!

The Tranny Pussy Cat Dolls are everywhere and constantly on the radio. Since my last dissection, in which I tore apart Nelly Furtado's Promiscuous, was such a monster hit, I think I'll take a deeper look into Buttons; the latest single from PCD. I recieved a lot of reader feedback telling me that this should be my next song, so sit back and relax. Perhaps change into your favorite smoking jacket and pour yourself a nice stiff drink. Here we go again!

Come on
You wouldn't be afraid of a little pussycats
Huh
Would you

I'd be afraid if that one second from the right came at me. YIKES! I don't care how "banging" her body is, I'll take my booty over her fug mug any day of the week.

I'm telling ya loosen up my buttons babe (uh huh)
But you keep frontin' babe (uh)
Say what you gon' do to me (uh huh)
But I see nothin' (uh)

Note: Excessive amounts of *UH HUH's* and *UH's* are crucial to this song. It really adds a flavor don't cha think?

Fronting, as defined by UrbanDictionary.com is when an individual:

Acts like you are more, or you have more than what really exists.

Let's use it in a sentence: Casey drove around the rented car acting like it was hers. She was straight fronting.

Thank you Urbandictionary.com

Typical, hardly the type although
I like him physical, don't leave me askin for more
I'm a sexy mama

What's going on here? Who's typical? She likes typical sex? I never thought her for a Missionary Position type of girl. But then she goes and says she likes it rough. I'm confused. The PCD's have suceeded in befuddling me! OH! And the whole "I'm a sexy mama" thing.....*psha* someone thinks highly of herself!!!

Who knows just how to get what I wanna

Wearing undewear as your regular ensamble will pretty much get you a lunch date with Osama.

What I wanna do is bring this on ya
That backup the things that I told ya

Bring what on who? What is she bringing on him? And what things did she tell him? I'd like a little bit more backstory to this song before it goes Top 40. Thanks.

You been sayin all the right things all along
But I can't seem to get you over here to help take this off

Now, not for nothing, but what exactly does she need help taking off (and I say she because let's face it; the only girl anyone cares about is the lead singer. The other "dolls" or "cats" might as well be dressed in Sea Gull costumes. No one really cares about them...poor things). I mean...she doesn't wear that much clothes. Did she decide to go crazy today and wear a long sleeve shirt and can't figure out how to get her arms out of it? Or did she accidentally put on a Straight Jacket thinking it was the latest Gaultier???

"I'm the star and everyone knows it...."*

Baby can't you see
How these clothes are fittin on me
And the heat comin from this beat
Im about to blow, I dont think you know

SHE'S ABOUT TO BLOW! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!! Take cover or you'll get silicone in your eye!

I'm tellin ya loosen up my buttons babe (uh huh)
But you keep frontin babe(uh)
Say what you gon' do to me (uh huh)
But I aint see nothin' (uh)

Let's just repeat the chorus for fun shall we??

I'm tellin ya loosen up my buttons babe (uh huh)
But you keep frontin babe(uh)
Say what you gon' do to me (uh huh)
But I aint see nothin' (uh)

God! These girls are hard up huh?! Just loosen up her damn buttons already! Or maybe you're confused because you're faced with a zipper and she's singing about buttons???

::sigh:: "I have the whole 'Jessica Alba thing' going on, but I'll never be as famous as Nicole. Even though they gave me a quasi solo in this stupid ass song..."

You say you're a big boy, but I cant agree

Oh SNAP!

Cuz the love you said you had, ain't been put on me
I wonder if I'm just too much for you
Wonder, if my kiss don't make you just...
Wonder, what i'd do next for you
What you wanna do

Yeah...he's wondering if that scratchy-ness on your face was a dry patch or your 5 o'clock shadow coming through.

Take a chance to recognize that this could be yours

You too can have tranny love!

I could see just like most guys
That your game don't please

What game did he bust out?! If it was Scrabble then all bets are off. But if he took out Jenga or Sorry! then I really don't know what she's whining about....

Baby can't you see
How these clothes are fittin on me
And the heat comin from this beat
I'm about to blow, I dont think you know

Why is she singing about how good her clothes are fitting if she keeps begging someone, anyone to come and take them off for her.

"My balls itch..."

Im tellin ya loosen up my buttons babe (uh huh)
But you keep frontin babe(uh)
Say what you gon' do to me (uh huh)
But I aint see nothin' (uh)
(Repeat Till Ends)

And why can't she loosen up her own damn buttons!? What? Did she sprain a finger from pole dancing??

Take me with you!!!

Oh, I'm sorry. Did you want to be cool like me, Shannie and Larry and actually know what's on the "Nantuckie 2006" playlist?

Be warned. This list will blow your hair back. Proceed rocking out and singing at the top of your lungs with the windows rolled down and the volume at max with caution my friends. :):)

Taking Back Sunday
Make Damn Sure

Bif Naked
Spaceman (I think this is the dance mix)

Yellowcard
One Year, Six Months

The All-American Rejects
Dance Inside

Q-Tip
Vibrant Thing

Pussy Cat Dolls
Buttons

Justin Timberlake
Sexy Back

The Afters
Beautiful Love

Band of Horses
The Funeral

Christina Aguilera
Ain't No Other Man

Britney Spears
Oops!... I Did It Again

Soul Asylum
Runaway Train

Eagle Eye Cherry
Save Tonight

Donna Summer
Upside Down

Butch Walker
Maybe It's Just Me

Barenaked Ladies
Break Your Heart

Hot Hot Heat
Middle of Nowhere

Foo Fighters
Best Of You

Dave Matthews Band
When The World Ends

Foreigner
I Just Died In Your Arms Tonight

Guster
One Man Wrecking Machine

Fall Out Boy
A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More Touch Me

Incubus
I Wish You Were Here

Green Day
Basket Case

Hilary Duff
Wake Up (whatever!!!!!)

Jennifer Lopez
Let's Get Loud

Gnarls Barkley
Crazy

House of Pain
On Point

James Blunt
So Long Jimmy

Ice Cube
You Can Do It (Save The Last Dance...*woot* *woot!!*

Corona
Rhythm Of The Night

Jack's Mannequin
Dark Blue

Kevin Lyttle
Turn Me On

John Legend
Let's Get Lifted

K's Choice
Not An Addict

INXS (with the new dude from that reality show Rock Star..whatever he's hot)
Pretty Vegas

JET
Rollover D.J.

Death Cab
The Sound of Settling

Nelly Furtado
Maneater

Spin Doctors
Little Miss Can't Be Wrong

Jordan Knight
Give It To You

KT Tunstall
Suddenly I See

Journey
Any Way You Want It (Seriously. How can you not like Journey???)

Laura Brannigan
Gloria

Jimmy Eat World
Sweetness

John Mellancamp & India Arie
Peaceful World

Nikka Costa
Everybody Got Their Something

Mase
Breathe, Stretch, Shake

Missy Elliott
Let Me Fix My Weave

Nada Surf
Blankest Year

Janes Addiction
Superhero

Snow Patrol
Hands Open

Van Morrison
Tupelo Honey

Nelly
Must Be The Money

O.A.R
Love and Memories

Smash Mouth
Walkin' On The Sun

Warrant
Heaven

Jay Z
I Just Wanna Love U

Paul Oakenfold
Starry Eyed Surprise

Red Hot Chili Peppers
Wet Sand (Seriously...this is such a good song.)

Rupert Holmes
If You Like Pina Coladas

Sister Hazel
Your Winter

Weezer
Say It Ain't So

The Veronicas
4ever

Wyclef
Perfect Gentleman

Soft Cell
Tainted Love

Something Corporate
Hurricane

Madonna
Get Together

Sun Kil Moon
Gentle Moon (Perfect for driving late night with all the windows down just staring at the sky.)

Scissor Sisters
Better Luck Next Time

Sum 41
Fat Lip
 
Young Black Teenagers
Tap The Bottle and Twist The Cap

The Youth Group
Forever Young

Til Tuesday
Voices Carry

Shakira
Whenever, Wherever

Tupac & Dre
California Love

Nicki French
Total Eclipse Of The Heart

So, is your hair like totally blown back???

I'm sure there were some groans of disbelief (Hilary Duff?!) but it's a fun play list! And while you may not have been there with us jamming around Nantucket, at least for your next road trip you can enjoy an eclectic mix of music from my very eclectic brain!!!

Holy Crap!!!! MADONNAAAA!!!

Yar. I saw Madonna last night. Three words:

A. Fucking. Mazing.

For anyone who has said that she can't sing or can't lip-sync, you need to just see her in person.

Some quick notes:

• Did she pole dance? Yes
• Did she flip off the crowd? Yes
• Did she make lewd gestures with her hands down her pants? Well....yeah but I'm not going into detail because my mom is reading this
• Did she make derogatory comments about George Bush? Hell yeah
• Did I love every minute of it? Oh yeah

I would just like to say that I want her body. Actually...where is my genie? Damn him he was here a second ago....Where is he-...Oh, there you are. Yes genie, in addition to eternal life for myself, my family and a few choice friends, along with buckets of money to last a life time oh and more wishes, I would like Madonna's body. Now. But with my boobs. And a smidgen of my ass because hers is kind of flat. Thanks.

*ahem*

I went to the concert with Rose, of course. She's my concert go-er of choice. Our seats were pretty up there. Like way up there. Like 5 rows from the ceiling up there. I mean they weren't the greatest seats but we looked down directly onto the stage and the jumbo-tron was right in front of us so it didn't really matter. Check it out:

That head that is featured in the photo above belonged to some extremely gay old guy who kept yelling, "MADONNAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!" like she was going to hear him.

This is Rose from the seats. Doesn't she look so psyched!!!!

This is a picture of Rose and I goofing off before the show demonstrating how black I am and how alabaster she is...still....and it's the middle of freakin' July!!

Madge came down from a disco ball and opened with Future Lover. The dancing was super sick. Like crazy sick. I wasn't too sure what was going on with the graphics for the first part of the show. The screens in the back kept flashing with horses running around and jumping fences and stuff. Apparently there was an Equestrian theme...? What with her riding boots she wore throughout the entire show and what not.

I didn't mind the horsies trotting in the background, but then she got all political with herself nailed to a cross and pictures of malnourished African children roaming around. Kind of a buzz kill. At the end of the show, we were driving back and Rose and I were discussing why she did it and we had a nice little dialogue going and that's when we realized, "Duh...she's doing it so people like us will engage in conversation about it."

Genius that Madonna. Or rather, genius Madonna's PR people.

She did old stuff and new stuff. Like a Virgin, Ray of Light...She did a KICK ASS little remix of La Isla Bonita. And the dancing was again, awesome. During I Love New York she totally rocked it out on the electric guitar. And when people weren't going super crazy for the song she got kind of pissed. She was like, "Don't take this song so fucking personally! Get up and dance."

Apparently Madonna is not a sports fan and is not hip to the massive hatred that most Bostonians have towards New York. Not to worry, I am not one of those Bostonians.

At one point during the middle of the show, I looked to my right and caught the eye of a the guy next to me. He goes, "Whaddaya think??"

Me - "Oh I love it. I wish she would dance more though!"

Guy - "Yeah. I'm not too into it."

I thought to myself, 'What kind of gay man are you?!' But instead I just said, "Oh have you seen her before?"

The guy looks at me like I'm a complete moron and goes matter-of-factly, "Oh, I know her brother Chris. But him and Madonna aren't speaking because he's a drug addict."

Me - "Oh. Really?" I am not buying a word of this cock and bull story.

Guy- "Yeah. Two years ago when she was at Worcester, I was back stage and everything. But now because they're not speaking I'm up here. In these seats. I mean I haven't seen her in like five years, but when she and her brother were on speaking terms I was hanging out in her New York apartment."

Uh-huh. Sure you were. And I'm on Michael Jackson's speed dial. I'm not quite sure who this guy is trying to fool but it's not me.

The show continued. I love going to concerts. Obviously because I enjoy seeing live music that I love, but also because it's such a mixed bag! You have people there who are completely letting loose. Going crazy, flailing their arms up in the air. Dancing like they've never danced before (or in some horrifying cases, ever, by the way they're moving to the "beat"). And you know that if they weren't at MADONNA they wouldn't be caught dead on the dance floor. Then you have people like me and Rose, who don't want to appear too clowny, so we just kind of gyrate to the music while simultaneously screaming the lyrics at the top of our lungs.

The show closed with Hung Up like I had a feeling it would and she didn't do an encore, like I had a feeling she wouldn't.

I mean what can I say? It was freakin' Madonna. Hate her or love her she's an icon and a legend. And she knows it. She knows that she doesn't have to play in your city. That you're lucky to have her because...well because she's Madonna. And I have to say that the best quote of the night, by far, was Rose saying, in the middle of Get Together, "I can't fucking believe we're at Madonna."

So true.

**stay tuned for more photos from before and after the show. I was too much of a wimp and didn't risk bringing my camera in for fear of confiscation. Plus the fact that I was using my parents digital camera**