Your Girlfriend is Ugly

A blog for the people

Well it's been about seven months since I started YGIU. I hope that I've been putting a smile on yous guyses faces. Not to toot my own horn *tooooooooooooooooooooooooooot* but I mean I'm pretty funny and I hope that my stories, observations, tragic events are relatable in some way or another. (I mean who hasn't flipped off a Statie at least once in their lives??!)

Anyway I know that people out there read my blog and I'd love to hear from you. Comment away people. None of this "I don't know how to..." and "I always mean to but..." We're all part of the computer/technology age so comment and give me your thoughts. Even if you hate it let me know. I love me a good argument. I may delete it but I kept up an inappropriateslashpornographic comment from someone named Don Juan so chances that I'll hit delete pretty slim.

Come on Kelly in NYC, Barbie in Franklin, Mark in South Boston, Aisha in Brightin, Kate in Maine, Iggy in Medfah,  Larry in ACK. Leave me some love! How about Vdigital in LA, JSutt against the wall of the DR, Steiner in the corner of the DR. Jack. Ro. Annie. Holler back. Mom? Dad?? I know you guys are out there. I know you read because I hear you snarffing, snorting and chuckling to yourselves.   

I breezed through Nora Ephron's new book I Feel Bad About My Neck and I could not stop dying laughing. I recommend it to everyone. Her chapter about maintenance and taking care of her mustache and waxing and losing weight was just to relevant, that were Nora Ephron a religion I would convert. I actually wrote to her "fan club" telling her how much I enjoyed the book. I mean who knows if she'll get it because she's so famous. But I'm not famous. Yet. So I have all the time in the world to read your fan mail.

Thanks guys!!

xoxoxo
Lisa   

New STOOF!!

Hey peeps!!

Ok well since it is 4th of July weekend, I'm going to be down the Cape until Tuesday with no access to email. So this gives you plenty of time to catch up on all of the yourgirlfriendisugly.com hilarity!!!

First off I posted a new blog today about how I have no friends at my gym. So read that and give me your opinions and feed back! And I also added new photos! Three new albums: Italy 2006, Paris 2005 and ST. Patty's Day 2006. Now...I was really smacked out when I added them so please don't mind the lame ass captions I posted. They are so ridiculously boring. Just admire the lovely French, Italian, and Southie scenery!

I do have to say though that I loved Paris so so so much and cannot WAIT to go back there!

I also posted some new photos under the album entitled "Pretty Much the Best Family Ever." I finally added a photo of my brother so check that out!!!

The 4th of July is my absolute faaaaaaaaavorite holiday so enjoy it OK? I'll be lying by the beach and guzzling down seafood with the fam. Have a great weekend!!!

xoxo!

Inquiries as to why...

So I'm getting a lot of "fan feedback" (hehe) from everyone  asking me why I am calling my blog site Your Girlfriend is Ugly.

• Are you a scorned woman? (who uses scorned anymore? What is this? The Scarlet Letter??? Who am I? Hester Prynne?!)
• Did your man cheat on you and is currently with the girl who he cheated with? (This would need to involve having a said man in order for him to cheat on said you with a said skank...so no this is not the case)

Actually I can't even take credit for the name. I did not think of it for myself. I was actually at work on Tuesday and I had kind of already made the decision that I was going to bust out of the very popular friend and music site of Myspace and start my own blog site. My friends and family have been telling me for years that I should have some sort of thing like this, but I just never really got into it (translation: I never had anyone who could manipulate a website and read through all of those funky HTML codes. Enter J. Sutt stage left...har).

So I was sitting at my desk putzing around, trying to look like I was doing something constructive when, in storms one of my BFFs *LaShonda Kuggleman (I call her LK for short.........)

So LaShonda comes bombing into my office freaking out because the boy that she used to be in love with now has a myspace page which is bursting at the seams with pictures of him and his girlfriend on it. LaShonda is beside herself. And I feel bad. But what can I do?!

"CLICK ON HIS PAGE! CLICK ON HIS PAAAAGE!!!"   

I click on this boys page and yup. There he is. A picture of him with no shirt on and some sort of Mantastic looking Koala latching onto him, arms around his neck and perched on his back.

"I MEAN SHE'S NOT CUTE RIGHT?! RIGHT?!?!!?!?!?!?"

"No, LK. She is definitely NOT cute."

**Just a note to all you ladies out there. That's what you always say. The other woman is never cute. She's always Bogus. She could look like Heidi Klume with the boobs of Giselle and she is still never cute. In case you all missed that in "Ho's over Bro's Class 101" **

So LaShonda calms down, takes a knee and ends up going back to her desk. A few minutes later, I'm still putzing around, when my email dings. It's from LK! I open it up and the body of the text reads:

"YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS UGLY!!!!"

And that's how my web blog name was born. I think it is a testament to all the ladies out there who are like "Well he's cute. But his girlfriend is ugly." Because even if she isn't, she still always is.

And I just want everyone to know that this site wasn't born so women can come on here and bash their two timing exes.

Well....on second thought, I guess it could be....I mean. I'm just going to go about my usual blogging routine; funny retellings about leaking air fresheners and such. Any and everything is up for discussion on Your Girlfriend is UGLY!

xo!

Thoughts, comments, concerns on the new site?? Also listed: Mad Props to a certain few...

Weeeeeell.....'tis official! I now own the domain name Yourgirlfriendisugly.com

I mean...how hilarious is that? I haven't gotten the actual site up yet, just purchased the name last night. Gotta walk before you can crawl.....wait....strike that....reverse it.

So with a help of a certain few, I "pimped" out my web blog site. What does everyone think? Gimme feedback. Gimme anything. (Gimme coffee. No really...go get me one.)

I would like to give due thanks where thanks is due!

Moochas grassy-ass to Jess, my chief designer and master of Web Cuteness and all things HTML.

My sisters Shana and Larry who think I am the funniest person on the planet. Oh the calories we have burned from larffing so hard at each other!

My sister from another mister, the ever fabulous LK. My "Life Coach" and main ego booster. I can basically just blink and she laughs with me.

My main gay, Hoostice. Thanks for walking me through the initial sign in process. I'd still be in a vegetative state staring at my computer if you hadn't emailed me bullet pointed directions.

A few other peeps worth mentioning: Thanks to Zing for always saying I should be doing this. D. Sutt and M. Gen. Thanks for staring at pink and green logos and giving your expert advice. Fox's So You Think You Can Dance? for providing two full hours of non-stop booty shaking. Loved that interpretive dance to Natasha Benningfield's song....I mean...it doesn't get stranger than that. Thanks to the makers of Swedish Fish and Sour Patch Kids. Don't think we would have made it without some sort of sugar high.

Oh and to everyone who I didn't thank. Relax. It's a work in progress and I'll get to you.

New Blog Site...YAY!

**The fact that this is an "About Me/Getting To Know Me" Blog and that it is quasi-cheesy has not escaped me. Just bear with it. It will get better I promise**

Well pretty much everyone who is going to be frequenting this site is already familiar with me and my "style"....my certain...Je ne sais quoi (Steiner did I spell this right???!!!), if you will. However, in the event that I become like uber famous because I am just TOO funny for my own good, I want everyone out there to know what I'm about (as my former Bike Messenger Lover once said, "Whas she about????").

Since I am recently coming off of the Myspace mentality (read: addiction), I figure I'll just do it up list format:

Generally I'm into smashin' fashion, I dig the couture stuff that grace the pages of any and all fashion magazines, but let's be realistic...I live in Boston, I work in Boston, I'm a hardcore Red Sox fan and I don't do my hair every day (not because I'm low maintenance which I would love to be thought as, but because I have to color my tresses to hide my excessive amounts of gray hair that I received prematurely due to awesome genes. Resulting in an "every other" type of hair washing schedule). I can pretty much wear sweat pants to work and be thought of as "Super Cute". So, while Gucci may be knocking down my door, begging me to wear their hottest dress to my next Packaging Convention, I would have to decline and reach for my GAP peasant skirt instead.

TMI?? Too bad.

Many of my friends say I have an unhealthy addiction to purses. I say: define "unhealthy". 'Tis true that I need to dedicate an entire museum to my purse collection, but I see it as an investment. I mean why purchase a bunch of crappily made purses? I say why not buy one good purse that will last you forever instead of always having to buy a new one because the ones you keep buying from Target keep falling apart.

I mean right?!

I'm seriously addicted to pop-culture. Yes...I care if Britney and Kevin Federline are getting divorced. And I do care where and when and how she dropped her baby. And how the HECK did Janet loose all that weight? Did Zach really cheat on Mandy? What is this Morsel Diet Mariah speaks of?  All of this stuff is intriguing to me, but I can also throw it down with some serious CNN.com talks every now and then.

I really don't mind confrontation. I actually think it's much better than sitting on something. And I'll respect you a heck of a lot more if you just tell me what's wrong with you other than pouting about it and calling everyone you know to talk about it, when in reality you should just be calling the person who you have the beef with!

'NAAAA MEAN???

(sidebar: it smells like mold in my office. No...correction. It smells like a dog that came in from rolling around in it's own poop, then got wet, then got moldy...YUMMERS!!)

I'm super random.

What else????? I Love to laugh. I love Lip Gloss. Stiletto heels; they look amazing with anything and I will wear them anywhere I can. Driving with all the windows down and the music blasting. Shark Week (if you haven't checked it out yet, ya need too!). I don't leave the house without mascara. Don't care where I'm going. Yes, I'll wear it to the gym. Don't hate, congratulate. The orange flavored gum from Trident rocks my world. Traveling (Paris is my ultimate spot). My family pretty much rocks as well. My mom makes a mean meatball and my dad can marinate like you read about. My sister is my rock. I'd probably be something like James Frey without her in my life. And infinite X's and O's to my brother Stevie :)

I have no worldly basis for this site. I'm not trying to save Namibia (wait....I think Brad and Angelina took care of that....shit! I need a new African state to want to save....Uuuuhhh...I'll get back to you on that). I've always been told I was pretty freakin' funny and should do this blog site thing so here I am. My topics will pretty much consist of the tragically painful/hysterical events of my life and those that I view and am not afraid to comment on. So if you're being an ass hat, you may end up on Your Girlfriend is Ugly!!!

Watch out now!

Smooches to all!