Your Girlfriend is Ugly

Life changes and how they will effect my TV time.

In case you don't stalk me on Twitter or are not privvy to my insane amount of Facebook updates then you might not know that I'm moving to New York in about two weeks.

Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii know.

It happened kind of fast. But it's good; it's exactly the change I need.

So the fact that I'm moving and having this major life change isn't really bothering me so much. I mean do I worry about packing up all of my shit in two weeks? Sure. Am I bummed that I probably can't have a proper going away party? Well, yeah. But I can have a welcome to New York party so that's fine.

What I am most freaking out about is how in the world am I going to watch all of my DVR in time before the big move?!???!!!!

Seriously the thought gives me agida. I've only downloaded 4 episodes of 24 on my iPod and the rest are all on my precious Digital Video Recorder. Plus, all of those Millionaire Match Makers and One Tree Hill's that I save for a rainy day! GAH! How am I going to pull this one off???

I'm not tech-savvy so if anyone knows a way to transfer DVR to your iPod then please let me know because quite frankly I don't think I can pull this one off.

Farewell

I had a good time in college. I lived in a prime apartment in the city with two guys and another girl. I was nineteen and never without liquor because either Tony Bologna or Stu would buy for me. We partied every night and there were always crazy shenanigans happening on our roof which looked into the Prudential Center. But that's what college is all about right? Hooking up with too many guys and drinking too many nips of Puckers.

I tried to relive my glory days when I moved to Southie four years ago. I was partying every weekend and drinking like it was my job. I even passed out in my friends bath tub and later on that night eventually puked pink stuff all over the street. Too much red wine and special brownies. 

Then there comes a point when you enter your mid-twenties that you say to yourself, "I can't drink like that any more." Don't get me wrong. I'll enjoy the bottle of red wine all to myself and I'm all for grabbing drinks after work. But gone are the days when I wake up at 7am on St. Patty's day and drink until midnight.

However, my responsible drinking self was shoved aside on Saturday for my Last Hurrah in Southie. I am moving out of the neighborhood that I've called home for the past four years and I wanted to remember the evening. Remember I did...until 6pm the following night.

Hooker made it a point to come up from NYC for the weekend so she could see me off in style. She used to live in the neighborhood and she was also my drinking buddy when she lived in Boston so it was totally fitting that she made it a point to be here.

At 5pm I cracked open a Stella and started to get ready for the evening. By 7pm I was totally buzzed and decided it was a good idea to pop open the bottle of Vueve Cliquot that was burning a hole in my fridge. The Ukrainian Princess had joined us by this time so the three of us bopped around my apartment sipping Vueve and applying eye liner.

By 9pm everyone had arrived at my place and I was reliving the Stairwell Story compliments of Iggy and Hooker. I don't know why those two feel the need to always retell it. Oh I know why. BECAUSE IT'S THE BEST STORY EV-ER.

The entire group of us made our way to the L Street Tavern around 10pm and the place was bumping. By this time I was totally buzzed and kept telling the random wicked drunk guy that my (sober) friend Rose liked him. This made him stand really close to her and rub up against her.

"YA FUCKIN' DEAD!" She shouted to me from across the bar as I collapsed in giggles. 

One thing you should know about me when I get drunk is that I ALWAYS want to do shots. It's like a relax or a gift from God or something. Saturday night was no different. I turned to my friends Jessie and T and told them I wanted to do a shot. 

"ANNNYFRING BUT JAEGAH MMKAY? I'LL BAHF IF WE DO JAEGAH."

"Irish Car Bomb?"

"What's that? I nevah done one."

"It's delicious."

"Ok. BAHTENDAH! THREE IRISH CAH BOMBS!!!!"

You should also know that when I get drunk my Boston accent comes out full force.

I pounded that Irish Car Bomb and after licking the Bailey's from my thumb proclaimed the Bahtendah to BRING ME ANOTHA!

"Leeeees....." JSutt had sidled up to my left, "Ok Leees. So you just did an Irish Car Bomb. Maybe you should wait 15 mins. If you want another one then come back and get one ok?"

"K." And with that I slithered off my stool and went outside to get some air.

During all of this drinking and debauchery I decided to undress Jhilll's fiancee Dave. I don't know what it is about Dave but whenever I'm drunk around him I feel the need to either take his clothes off or breath heavily near him. It's a wonder he even still talks to me. In between Irish Car Bombs -yes I did another one- I started to chat up this guy in a striped sweater. He walked by me and I just gave him a nod and said "HEY."

"Hey. How are you?"

"I'm good. You look like Pacey from Dawson's Creek."

"Really??? No one's ever told me that before!"

"Well you do."

We talked a little more but I had the attention span of a gnat and he eventually got sick of  me and walked to the other end of the bar. By 12:30 I had a revelation that we had to leave L Street immediately and head to Murphy's Law, the dive bar down the street that's open super late. I don't know why I felt the need to leave. L Street was bumping and Pacey and I were making bar eyes. I passed him on the way out and he asked where I was going.

"Murphy's."

"Why? It's so shady!"

"Yeah but it's open late!"

"So is my apartment."

I was too drunk to process this. "Mmmmkay byeeeee."

Hooker asked me later why I didn't get my boyfriends number. I told her I had two Irish Car Bombs. 'Nuff said.

Murphy's was filled with the usual clowns. One guy in a Patriot's hoodie kept telling us his friend was going to whip it out for us. Another guy with the smallest head I've ever seen started talking to Jessie and some guy named Dave kept grabbing my nose and saying, "HA! GOT IT!"

The nose grabbing thing was new to me. The threat to whip out a penis, unfortunately was not.

Saturday night was one of those great nights where everyone is in a good mood, the crowd is cool, the vibe is chill and even though you drink like you're going to the chair you don't hurl. That last point is the difference between grown up drinking and college drinking. When I was 20 I totes would've ralphed -totally the best synonym for puking Chris-.

YGIU.com's 1st Birthday Party Recap!

Two words: TOTAL SUCCESS!

I want to thank everyone who came out to celebrate the 1st birthday of my blog. It was definitely a success and I think everyone had an awesome time.

I obviously want to thank the people of Murphy's Law for letting us take over and get clowny with ourselves. The owner Peggy was more than accomidating and our bartender Tracy made some mean Buttery Nipple Shots. The four that I had went down preeeeeetty smoothe. :)

Those who were fabulous and in attendance on Saturday:

• Zing all the way from Baltimore to celebrate the 1st birthday.
• Brennon, the crazy mofo whom I haven't seen in oooooh about 5 years!
• Brian Piccini, owner of Dbar in Dorchester. You guys have to check it out.
• The Donna and The Esteban Gradie. Love that they came! Best parents ever.
• Our adopted Aunt Barbie. She likes to throw it down with a few glasses of Chardonnay when she's not driving. That's why we love her :)
• JSutt; Cheif Designer of Yourgirlfriendisugly.com and her wicked fun crew who were all mad cool and knew how to party.
• Jenski Hill and Daveski her tall boyfriend.
• J. Grondin, L. Casey and Maria (sorry girlfriend I don't know your last name). Totes fun and all cheese lovers!
• Ulana and Mike. Sans cousin from the Ukraine but fun non-the-less. And Ulana is like one of my biggest fans.
• HLP and Fernando. Did he know why he was there Rose :)
• Slut and her cuz Rachel.
• Tina Hayes. My dad was like OBSESSED with the fact that you were there. He was so pumped to see you!
• LK and her bro PK who I finally got to meet after like YEARS of him getting hyped up. I mean he was OK. He was KINDA fun...ya know :)
• Baboo who was awesome and totally worked the crowd and was a riot.
• And of course my biggest fan and totally helpful party planner, my fabulous big sister Shana.

There were more people who came and celebrated too. Sorry if I didn't get to you or give you a shout out but I just spent like three hours putting captions on all of the pics so I'm getting kind of cramped in my fingers.

Oh! And the pictures are up! They are all the way to the left on the bottom.

Again, thanks to everyone who came and thanks to everyone who brought me gifts! That was so not necessary but oh so appreciated.

I really hope to make something out of this blog and for all of you who were reading from the beginning it means a lot. And I hope you're all around for the second birthday!!

xoxoxo

Lisa

YGIU.com's 1st birthday recap coming soon to a computer near you.

Well for all of you who came and partied last night for the first birthday party of yourgirlfriendisugly.com I thank you. It was a fantastic party with plenty of buttery nipple shots to go around. I laughed so much that I now have a 6 pack and the hot husky voice of Lauren Bacall.

For those of you who missed it,? All I can say is "where were you?" 

Recap, photo albums and shout outs coming sooooooon! Keep yourself and your ugly girlfriend close to the computer. You definitely don't want to miss a hot minute of this trip down Clown Town Lane.

xoxo

YGIU.com's First Bday Party!!

By now I hope everyone is up to speed with the shin dig (that looks weird....is that how you spell shin dig????) that will be going down this coming Saturday the 23rd.

My blog (the one you're reading right now....dir) is turning one year old and being the Fun Merchant that I am, I'm having a party to celebrate this milestone. I've sent out evites, inviting emails, text messages. I've done everything short of sending smoke signals and personal carrier pigeons.

Soooo if you like what you read, or if you don't like what you read but you like me. Or if you don't even like me (umm...*psha*) but just like to drink and hang out at Southie dive bars, you should make a point to come play with us!!!

Once again, for the people in the back!!!

Where: Murphy's Law, the premier dive bar of South Boston. And also one of the locations to be featured in Ben Affleck's new flick Gone Baby Gone.

When: This Saturday the 23rd. Start time is 8:30pm

Other deets to be privy to:

• It's cash only
• Wear jeans and flips. Anything thing else is considered dressy and you'll get weird looks
• The Donna is bringing her famous cheese ball

I'm getting a lot of people asking me if they can bring this person or that person. Bring whoever you want. Bring your mom and dad (mine are coming!). Bring your cousin from the Ukraine. Bring your coworkers. Bring your boyfriend, your fuck buddy, your mistress. Bring your boss.

Open invite. I mean....it would be great if they read the blog, but if not this will be sure to get them hooked.

Hope to see you there! We're totally going to party like the kids in Don't Tell Mom the Baby Sitter's Dead!!

YGIU.com's first birthday!!! (make a space in your day planner for it)

I hope you've all left a space open on Saturday June 23rd to come and have cake (caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake) in celebration of YGIU's first birthday party!!!

Why a party for a blog site?

Um. Why not?

Any chance to 1.) party  2.) dance along to a digital juke box  and 3.) drink with Southie locals is a good time to me

So. The deets are as follows:

When: Saturday, June 23rd
Where: Murphy's Law, South Boston (Click the link. It's kinda funny)
Time: Come on by around 8:30pm. Don't be too cool and show up late. Because the coolness will already be at Murphy's Law. *woot*

Other important things to be privy to:

• Did I mention there will be cake?
• It's a cash only bar so hit the ATM.
• Bring your dolla bills and quarters. The jukebox rules there.
• Um. I'm a classy broad, but this place is a dive bar. So don't worry about looking all cute and dressing to the nines. Be comfy; flip flops, jeans, t-shirts. If you come duded up they'll look at you funny.
• This bar is going to be featured in the new Ben Affleck Movie, Gone Baby Gone. And I stalked the movie set. Twice. And got pictures of Ben and Casey. Click here to read the first blog. Scroll down to June 15th. It's the blog entitled YGIU.com's First Celebrity Sighting!! And click here to read the second one entitled YGIU.com's Second Celebrity Sighting!!! (well sorta..) Scroll down. it's the blog from July 25th.

So I hope you guys can all make it. If you're coming please email me at [email protected] and let me know. Bring you mom. You dad. Your grandpappy. Your friends. Your friend's friends. Bring whomever. They just have to be able to put the FU in FUN!!!

xoxo

Bust out your binkie. YGIU is turning 1!

*Ahem*

I know you all love a party. And I know that you all love birthday parties. So isn't it just the greatest thing on the planet that Your Girlfriend Is Ugly is turning 1 in June.

And I want YOU, yes YOU to come celebrate with me and my peeps.

Some of the details as well as the venue are still being hammered out. But here is what I can tell you:

Date: Saturday June 23rd

Location: It will be somewhere in the South Boston (Southie) area. Southie is where I live, work and has been a major player in many of my blogs. So I don't want any hemming and hawing about it and how you're gonna get here. Like my boss says to me all the time, "Figure it out."

Stay tuuuuuuuuuuned for more fun information to come! But in the mean time pen it in!

xoxo