Your Girlfriend is Ugly

A yo yo yoga update.

As you all know I'm into Yoga. I started going in early October and I absolutely love it. It's quite possibly the best thing I've done for myself. Well that and therapy.

I purchased a monthly membership at O2 in South End and I attend the lunch time classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays and the 9:30am class on Saturdays. It's basic with a lot of sun salutations but I sweat my ass off and for me it's a better work out than cardio. I was talking to JSutt about it - she's super happy I'm into Yoga. She didn't think I'd like it. Truthfully I'm shocked I like it myself- and she was telling me about this restorative Yoga class that she attended in Brookline and how amazing it is.

"Lees, It's amazing."

"How amazing is it JSutt?"

"It's just a really good way to end your week. And you sweat. A. LOT."

Never one to shy away from trying something new -except the duck necks! I wouldn't try the duck necks in China- we made a date to attend the Basic restorative yoga class at Baptiste Yogain Brookline this past Sunday.

I'm not going to lie. I was totally intimidated by the people in this class. They were all super hard core looking and none of them seemed to have any sort of basic yoga needs. And no one was really smiley. At O2 everyone smiles at you and is quiet and breathy. This place had some mickey mouse beams holding up the ceiling.

We entered the room and I immediately began to sweat. It was like stepping into a sauna that had gone to plaid and I loved it. People were in their various warm up positions, downward facing dog, upward facing dog, happy baby. I laid on my back and stretched from side to side.

The instructor finally came in.

"Hi I'm Jamie. I'm gonna be your instructa fa the class."

Her Boston accent was totally bumping.

"We're gonna do some wahm up poses and it's gonna be a great class guys."

The class was pretty great. Besides the fact that she didn't shut the fuck up the entire time. While I was trying to get all restorative and zen like with my bad yoga self she was walking around the class talking talk talking. Telling stories about her brother and how he was diagnosed with ADD when he was younger and how he took that ADD and turned it into something that helps him be creative in his work.

Don't care! Trying to thread the needleover here! We can chat about your brother over some bean sprouts and jasmine tea.

Now, I understand yoga is all about release, but what is the deal with the people who have to grunt like their on their third orgasm during a class? This one guy who was on the other side of the room -shirtless and wearing fancy man yoga pants- was grunting like a cave man the entire time. And it didn't matter what pose we were in. We could be lying on our backs in a resting position and out of no where you'd hear:

"OOOOOOOOOOooooooUUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAHHH..."

During a downward facing dog he let out a grunt so intense the walls shook. I busted out into a giggle and looked around. No one else was laughing. No one else was looking around to see who was giving birth in the corner. That's fine. Maybe these folks are more mature than I am. But the first time someone farts in a yoga class I'm taking I'll have to leave the room. There is no way I'll be able to keep my composure after an event like that.

Fart-free, we emerged from the class, restored and sweating so much it looked like I peed my pants. Honestly, I can't get over the sweat. I have never in my life sweat that much. And that includes sex, going to the beach during a heat-wave, and the one time I tried to go running.

I'm in love with O2 yoga but I'd give Restorative yoga another whirl. Mainly because I have a free class pass. But I think I might have to get the Instructa Jamie a muzzle. Maybe a cute lululemon one??

Yo Yo Yoga

I say all the time that I need a hobby. My dad thinks I should join some sort of South Boston softball team to relive my glory days as High school captain. That to me is just too intimidating. I talk to Brennon all the time about needing a hobby. He actually blogged about it on Look Back In Anger.  

What would I do for a hobby? Join a book club? I'm so wishy washy with my books. Knitting club? I'd feel more secure doing that if I had a boyfriend. And forget about getting a pet. I can't even take care of plants. I needed something that would be good for my mind and body. The thought of utilizing my gym membership that I pay $75/month crossed my mind but I just hate going to the gym after work. It's such a struggle.

I was talking to JSutt  about doing Yoga and she enthusiastically encouraged me to come to a lunch-time class with her and Alyssa. So today was the day. Ladies and gentlemen I have discovered Yoga. Yeah I know. I'm a little late with this trend. Yoga was so popular like 15 years ago that it's actually come, gone, been replaced by Pilates and is now "in" again.

I loved it! I mean forget about the fact that I was totally unprepared, rolling into the studio in flowy gaucho pants, a large Dunkin's iced tea and no hair tie to tame my wild locks, but even though I had those strikes against me, I really enjoyed myself. It was my first time EVER doing Yoga so even though it was a beginners class I was slightly snervvy.

• Five minutes into the warm ups my bobby pins slid out of my bun and my hair was all in my face.
• Five and a half minutes into the class I started to rain sweat profusely.
• Ten minutes into the class I had to pause every few seconds due to the insane amount of downward facing dogs we were doing. My lack of arms strength made it extremely difficult to move from plank to DFD.
• Fifteen minutes into class I got complimented by the instructor. *woot*
• In through the nose, out through the nose
• Twenty minutes into the class I started to get a muscle spasm in my right hip. When the instructor asked if I was OK I just said "Oh yeah I just have a cramp" and continued to lift my leg, wincing. She then gently informed me that if it hurts I should stop. Dir.
• Still sweating.
• But loving it!
• Don't forget to breathe!
• With fifteen minutes left in the glass I was so drenched that when I went to grab my ankle for a Quad stretch it kept slipping from my grip.

My favorite part was the cool down. Every time the instructor told us to relax a body part (neck, eyes, tongue, face, stomach, knees) a little bit of stress melted away. I was totally into myself and feeling all Yoga-esque when all of a sudden the upstairs tenant arrived home and started to stomp around in her heels up and down the hardwood floors. The Goose-stepping made it hard to meditate and get centered and all that jazz but I'll just have to work on tuning that out for the next class in the event that Mussolini is home when I'm trying to get my Yoga on.

I'm totally picking up a yoga mat this weekend and I promise it will not lay unused in a corner like my now deflated Pilates ball.